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All Of Randy Marsh's Professional Endeavors, Ranked 

Ann Casano
Updated August 30, 2018 269 votes 74 voters 1.4k views 12 items

List Rules Vote up Randy's best professional endeavors; vote down the jobs that were just so-so.

The best Randy Marsh episodes demonstrate why the character has proved a hit with South Park fans. Randy is passionate, making him prone to frequent flights of fancy, but his grossly impractical nature means he often fumbles when trying something new. The character has a tendency to find himself in outlandish situations, often of his own creation, which he inevitably worsens through various misguided attempts to rectify things. Along his various journeys, Randy has found himself expanding his resume beyond the role of geologist. No one can discuss the best of Randy Marsh without mentioning his various professional endeavors, many of which have failed dramatically. Below, you'll find a fan ranking of all of Randy's jobs in South Park history. 

Just because Randy has a doctorate, and even won a Nobel Prize in one episode, does not make him smart. In fact, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone often depict Randy as a foolish character, easily swayed by new trends, who often grossly overestimates his own abilities. This is evident by the various mistakes Randy makes while trying out new endeavors. Who would buy a dilapidated Blockbuster in 2012? Who would become a mall security guard just to get a leg up on other shoppers during Black Friday? However, on occasion, Randy strikes gold as he shuffles through careers. After all, given Season 18 established he's secretly pop superstar Lorde, he obviously has some musical skills. 

What were Randy's most hilarious career pursuits? Browse this list of Randy Marsh's jobs and vote up his best career endeavors! If you're a South Park fan, you can also vote on the best Butters episodes and the best religion episodes

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Lorde is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list All Of Randy Marsh's Professional Endeavors, Ranked
Photo: South Park/Comedy Central

"Gluten Free Ebola"/"The Cissy"
Season 18, episodes 2 and 3

Randy first performs as "Royals" singer Lorde in "Gluten Free Ebola." During the next episode of the series, "The Cissy," we discover that Randy is leading an insane double life as both a geologist/husband/father and as New Zealand pop sensation Lorde. He records music in the bathroom then edits his voice with auto-tune.

Randy appears as Lorde for several episodes of Season 18 and even has a hit song called "Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday)." Randy almost gets caught as Lorde several times and eventually Stan finds out about his dad's alter ego. 

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Cock Magician is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list All Of Randy Marsh's Professional Endeavors, Ranked
Photo: South Park/Comedy Central
Cock Magician

"Cock Magic"
Season 18, episode 8

The boys discover that Cock Magic is when roosters play the card game Magic: The Gathering. However, Randy thinks that Cock Magic is much more literal and that it means doing tricks with your genitals and attempts to launch a career as a Cock Magician. 




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Elementary School Chef ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list All Of Randy Marsh's Professional Endeavors, Ranked
Photo: South Park/Comedy Central
Elementary School Chef

"Crème Fraiche"
Season 14, Episode 14

Randy becomes completely obsessed with cooking as a result of watching hours and hours of the Food Network. His new passion for cooking makes him quit his job for a position as a chef at South Park Elementary School. Randy's new job does not last long because his cuisine is extremely gourmet and doesn't meet the general satisfaction of the students. 



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Mall Security Officer is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list All Of Randy Marsh's Professional Endeavors, Ranked
Photo: South Park/Comedy Central
Mall Security Officer

"Black Friday"/"A Song of Ass and Fire"/"T*tties and Dragons"
Season 17, episodes 7 to 9

Randy takes a job at the South Park mall as a security officer. He tells everyone that it's only for extra money, but the truth is that he wants to be the first in line to shop for the holiday mega savings. A new toy called "Stop Touching Me Elmo" fires up Black Friday consumers even more than usual and the security captain is stabbed to death, leading to a three episode arc chronicling Randy's stint as security officer. 


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