• Entertainment

All Of Randy Marsh's Professional Endeavors, Ranked

List RulesVote up Randy's best professional endeavors; vote down the jobs that were just so-so.

The best Randy Marsh episodes demonstrate why the character has proved a hit with South Park fans. Randy is passionate, making him prone to frequent flights of fancy, but his grossly impractical nature means he often fumbles when trying something new. The character has a tendency to find himself in outlandish situations, often of his own creation, which he inevitably worsens through various misguided attempts to rectify things. Along his various journeys, Randy has found himself expanding his resume beyond the role of geologist. No one can discuss the best of Randy Marsh without mentioning his various professional endeavors, many of which have failed dramatically. Below, you'll find a fan ranking of all of Randy's jobs in South Park history. 

Just because Randy has a doctorate, and even won a Nobel Prize in one episode, does not make him smart. In fact, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone often depict Randy as a foolish character, easily swayed by new trends, who often grossly overestimates his own abilities. This is evident by the various mistakes Randy makes while trying out new endeavors. Who would buy a dilapidated Blockbuster in 2012? Who would become a mall security guard just to get a leg up on other shoppers during Black Friday? However, on occasion, Randy strikes gold as he shuffles through careers. After all, given Season 18 established he's secretly pop superstar Lorde, he obviously has some musical skills. 

What were Randy's most hilarious career pursuits? Browse this list of Randy Marsh's jobs and vote up his best career endeavors! If you're a South Park fan, you can also vote on the best Butters episodes and the best religion episodes

  • Photo: South Park / Comedy Central
    52 VOTES


    "Gluten Free Ebola"/"The Cissy"
    Season 18, episodes 2 and 3

    Randy first performs as "Royals" singer Lorde in "Gluten Free Ebola." During the next episode of the series, "The Cissy," we discover that Randy is leading an insane double life as both a geologist/husband/father and as New Zealand pop sensation Lorde. He records music in the bathroom then edits his voice with auto-tune.

    Randy appears as Lorde for several episodes of Season 18 and even has a hit song called "Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday)." Randy almost gets caught as Lorde several times and eventually Stan finds out about his dad's alter ego. 

    Should this be higher or lower?
  • Photo: South Park / Comedy Central
    41 VOTES

    Cock Magician

    "Cock Magic"
    Season 18, episode 8

    The boys discover that Cock Magic is when roosters play the card game Magic: The Gathering. However, Randy thinks that Cock Magic is much more literal and that it means doing tricks with your genitals and attempts to launch a career as a Cock Magician. 




    Should this be higher or lower?
  • Photo: South Park / Comedy Central
    46 VOTES

    Blockbuster Owner

    "A Nightmare on Face Time"
    Season 16, episode 12

    It was 2012 when this episode, in which Randy buys a run-down Blockbuster, aired. This means Blockbuster was already very outdated and no one was renting movies at video stores anymore. After the business dramatically fails, Randy's daughter burns down the store for the insurance money. 

    Should this be higher or lower?
  • Photo: South Park / Comedy Central
    42 VOTES

    Mall Security Officer

    "Black Friday"/"A Song of Ass and Fire"/"T*tties and Dragons"
    Season 17, episodes 7 to 9

    Randy takes a job at the South Park mall as a security officer. He tells everyone that it's only for extra money, but the truth is that he wants to be the first in line to shop for the holiday mega savings. A new toy called "Stop Touching Me Elmo" fires up Black Friday consumers even more than usual and the security captain is stabbed to death, leading to a three episode arc chronicling Randy's stint as security officer. 


    Should this be higher or lower?