From his disastrous and stalkery D.E.N.N.I.S. dating system to his thing for teabagging guys, Dennis is an enigma wrapped inside a riddle stuffed inside a deeply troubled psychotic mind. Dennis’s ideas on Always Sunny usually take abrupt, weird, and vengeful turns. When he and Dee stalk the Waitress, he’s disappointed that they aren’t actually going to kill her and chop her up.
On top of the sociopathic tendencies, on Always Sunny Dennis talks his sister Dee into doing many humiliating things like posing as serial killer bait, setting her up with men with lower self esteem than hers, and calling her a bird every chance he gets. He’s also not afraid to pop off his shirt and show off his pink dime-sized nipples any time during one of the Always Sunny schemes. Through 11 seasons and counting, Dennis can be counted upon to flash his fish-belly white torso at the drop of some old rat cheese.
Which Always Sunny Dennis scheme, idea, or tendency is your favorite? Vote up those golden gods to the top of the list.
When He Invented the D.E.N.N.I.S. System
Season 5, Episode 10: “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System”
The tenets of Dennis’s classic and horrible dating strategy are:
D emonstrate Value
E ngage Physically (this is where Mac comes in)
N urturing Dependence
N eglect Emotionally
I nspire Hope
S eparate Entirely
Dee challenges him to re-D.E.N.N.I.S. a woman he formerly D.E.N.N.I.S.-ed. Meanwhile, the gang convinces Dee she’s being D.E.N.N.I.S.-ed by her boyfriend Ben, who’s really just a nice guy. The gang attempts to use the D.E.N.N.I.S. system, but fail miserably when they go rogue in their interpretation of the system.
When He Has Dee Pose as Bait for a Serial Killer
Season 3, Episode 10: “Mac Is a Serial Killer”
Dennis goads Dee into becoming bait for a serial killer and they end up negotiating with the pimp Pepper Jack over who Dee belongs to. Pepper Jack is reluctantly bought off with a Fraggle Rock thermos.
When He and Dee Get Hooked on Crack to Get Welfare
Season 2, Episode 3: “Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare”
In their quest to pursue careers and establish independence from the rest of the gang, Dee and Dennis go on unemployment. When that runs out, the plan is to go on welfare. When their pretense at Dennis being a recovering crack addict and Dee being mentally handicapped fails, they smoke crack (for real) to get the proper medical paperwork to qualify for welfare.Cracked out Dee has a hard time focusing on her acting career. Cracked out Dennis finds himself a long way from becoming a veterinarian. Their scheme lands them back at the bar, doing all of Charlie’s horrible chores, but at least it was entertaining to watch!
His Plans for Boat Ownership (And Implied Rape)
Season 6, Episode 3: “The Gang Buys a Boat”
As Dennis and Mac shop for boat supplies for their new (and unseaworthy) boat The Drowning Sailor, Dennis gives yet another clue that his soul is the darkest of dark. He tells Mac that the only reason to get a boat is to lure women an isolated place where they can’t refuse. He reasons that this is the implication of boat ownership and that women should not be surprised to find themselves in this situation.