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The Best Newspaper Headlines from American Dad

2.3k votes 239 voters 3.5k views53 items

List RulesVote up the funniest headlines from the opening credits of American Dad!

Much like The Simpsons and Futurama before it, American Dad's opening title sequence also features a running visual gag that changes from episode to episode. In more recent seasons, you'll see Roger popping up from under the dashboard of Stan's car in various disguises, but for the first four seasons of the series, the ever-changing newspaper headline was what keen-eyed fans looked out for. From topical political statements to snarky quips to hysterical one-liners, here's a list of all the American Dad newspaper headlines that have graced your TV screen. Vote up the newspapers on American Dad that made you laugh the most!

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  • 1
    81
    9

    Optimist Drowns in Half-Full Tub

    Season 1 Episode 3 "Stan Knows Best"

  • 2
    73
    12

    Childhood Obesity Up, Pedophilia Down

    Season 3 Episode 15 "Four Little Words"

  • 3
    69
    12

    Democratic Party Missing: Feared Dead

    Season 1 Episode 1 "Pilot"

  • 4
    64
    11

    Bush Finally Gets Joke About Last Name

    Season 1 Episode 7 "Deacon Stan, Jesus Man"

  • 5
    59
    11

    Economy Turns Corner, Falls Down Stairs

    Season 1 Episode 5 "Roger Codger"

  • 6
    59
    13

    Israel Pulls Out of Gaza, Gaza Not Pregnant

    Season 2 Episode 2 "A Smith in the Hand"

  • 7
    45
    8

    Popeye Insists: "Olive Oil Ain't No Virgin"

    Season 3 Episode 19 "Joint Custody"

  • 8
    42
    11

    Britney Spears' Baby to Enter Pre-Hab

    Season 2 Episode 10 "Rough Trade"

  • 9
    56
    30

    Trans Fats Banned in NYC, Fat Trannies Still OK

    Season 3 Episode 8 "Irregarding Steve"

  • 10
    34
    11

    Big Bird Dead of Big Avian Flu

    Season 2 Episode 7 "Stannie Get Your Gun"

  • 11
    49
    28

    Stuff Happens As Wave of Ambiguity Spreads

    Season 1 Episode 2 "Threat Levels"

  • 12
    31
    8

    Iran Changes Flag to Middle Finger

    Season 3 Episode 13 "Black Mystery Month"

  • 13
    35
    13

    Hooker Killed for Heart of Gold

    Season 1 Episode 4 "Francine's Flashback"

  • 14
    35
    14

    Tantric Sex Conference Ends Prematurely

    Season 2 Episode 11 "Finance with Wolves"

  • 15
    40
    22

    Missing Twins Found in Gingerbread House

    Season 1 Episode 6 "Homeland Insecurity"

  • 16
    29
    11

    Dems Take House, Republicans Get Record Collection

    Season 3 Episode 5 "Dungeons and Wagons"

  • 17
    41
    25

    Bush Appoints Stephen King as Ambassador to Terror

    Season 2 Episode 8 "Star Trek"

  • 18
    42
    27

    Clever Bumper Sticker Ends Abortion Debate

    Season 2 Episode 9 "Not Particularly Desperate Housewives"

  • 19
    25
    8

    Jewish Gynecologist Develops Pap Schmear

    Season 3 Episode 2 "The American Dad After School Special"

  • 20
    30
    18

    Airlines to Screen Emotional Baggage

    Season 3 Episode 16 "When a Stan Loves a Woman"

  • 21
    37
    27

    Scientist Discovers Wife Cheating

    Season 2 Episode 4 "Con Heir"

  • 22
    19
    6

    Son Regrets Teaching Dad How to Text Message

    Season 4 Episode 6 "42-Year-Old Virgin"

  • 23
    29
    19

    Big Headline; Smaller Print to Follow

    Season 4 Episode 11 "Oedipal Panties"

  • 24
    27
    17

    Mexican President Creates New Taco Supreme Court

    Season 3 Episode 17 "I Can't Stan You"

  • 25
    21
    11

    Rumsfeld Steps Down... On Puppy's Head

    Season 3 Episode 6 "Iced, Iced Babies"