Animated The Best Newspaper Headlines from American Dad  

Greg Hahn
1.5k votes 161 voters 2.3k views 53 items

List Rules Vote up the funniest headlines from the opening credits of American Dad!

Much like The Simpsons and Futurama before it, American Dad's opening title sequence also features a running visual gag that changes from episode to episode. In more recent seasons, you'll see Roger popping up from under the dashboard of Stan's car in various disguises, but for the first four seasons of the series, the ever-changing newspaper headline was what keen-eyed fans looked out for. From topical political statements to snarky quips to hysterical one-liners, here's a list of all the American Dad newspaper headlines that have graced your TV screen. Vote up the newspapers on American Dad that made you laugh the most!

list ordered by

1
61 3
Optimist Drowns in Half-Full Tub

Season 1 Episode 3 "Stan Knows Best"

2
45 6
Economy Turns Corner, Falls Down Stairs

Season 1 Episode 5 "Roger Codger"

3
35 4
Childhood Obesity Up, Pedophilia Down

Season 3 Episode 15 "Four Little Words"

4
51 9
Democratic Party Missing: Feared Dead

Season 1 Episode 1 "Pilot"

5
46 9
Bush Finally Gets Joke About Last Name

Season 1 Episode 7 "Deacon Stan, Jesus Man"

6
45 9
Stuff Happens As Wave of Ambiguity Spreads

Season 1 Episode 2 "Threat Levels"

7
40 7
Missing Twins Found in Gingerbread House

Season 1 Episode 6 "Homeland Insecurity"

8
44 10
Israel Pulls Out of Gaza, Gaza Not Pregnant

Season 2 Episode 2 "A Smith in the Hand"

9
26 3
Popeye Insists: "Olive Oil Ain't No Virgin"

Season 3 Episode 19 "Joint Custody"

10
37 7
Bush Appoints Stephen King as Ambassador to Terror

Season 2 Episode 8 "Star Trek"

11
32 10
Britney Spears' Baby to Enter Pre-Hab

Season 2 Episode 10 "Rough Trade"

12
29 8
Scientist Discovers Wife Cheating

Season 2 Episode 4 "Con Heir"

13
33 12
Tantric Sex Conference Ends Prematurely

Season 2 Episode 11 "Finance with Wolves"

14
31 11
Clever Bumper Sticker Ends Abortion Debate

Season 2 Episode 9 "Not Particularly Desperate Housewives"

15
22 4
Airlines to Screen Emotional Baggage

Season 3 Episode 16 "When a Stan Loves a Woman"

16
33 13
Hooker Killed for Heart of Gold

Season 1 Episode 4 "Francine's Flashback"

17
24 7
Big Bird Dead of Big Avian Flu

Season 2 Episode 7 "Stannie Get Your Gun"

18
29 12
Trans Fats Banned in NYC, Fat Trannies Still OK

Season 3 Episode 8 "Irregarding Steve"

19
20 5
Big Headline; Smaller Print to Follow

Season 4 Episode 11 "Oedipal Panties"

20
21 6
Jewish Gynecologist Develops Pap Schmear

Season 3 Episode 2 "The American Dad After School Special"

21
28 12
Gas Prices Higher Than Dude at Weezer Concert

Season 2 Episode 3 "All About Steve"

22
17 4
Iran Changes Flag to Middle Finger

Season 3 Episode 13 "Black Mystery Month"

23
21 9
Dems Take House, Republicans Get Record Collection

Season 3 Episode 5 "Dungeons and Wagons"

24
17 6
Mexican President Creates New Taco Supreme Court

Season 3 Episode 17 "I Can't Stan You"

25
20 9
American Dad Releases DVD, Small Girl from Basement

Season 2 Episode 15 "With Friends Like Steve's"

26
12 3
Bear Market Suggests Investing in Salmon

Season 4 Episode 8 "The Most Adequate Christmas Ever"

27
14 6
Fed Cuts Rates, Rates Shiv Fed in Retaliation

Season 4 Episode 15 "Stanny Slickers 2: The Legend of Ollie's Gold"

28
15 8
Despondent Pluto Drowns Two of Its Moons

Season 3 Episode 3 "Failure Is Not a Factory-Installed Option"

29
16 10
Rumsfeld Steps Down... On Puppy's Head

Season 3 Episode 6 "Iced, Iced Babies"

30
12 7
Plane Delayed as Mrs. Plane Finishes Getting Ready

Season 3 Episode 18 "The Magnificent Steven"

31
10 5
Uncle Insists: "Creepy Is the New Quirky"

Season 4 Episode 3 "Dope & Faith"

32
12 7
Bowler's Union Strikes

Season 4 Episode 7 "Surro-Gate"

33
17 12
EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! Santa Exits Sleigh, Flashes Crotch

Season 3 Episode 9 "The Best Christmas Story Never"

34
16 11
Zach Braff Mania Sweeps Zach Braff's Apartment

Season 3 Episode 1 "Camp Refoogee"

35
18 14
Confused Iranian President Denies Hollow Crust Pizza

Season 2 Episode 13 "Roger 'n Me"

36
16 12
Michelle Kwan Finally Dishonors Family

Season 2 Episode 12 "It's Good to Be the Queen"

37
11 7
Son Regrets Teaching Dad How to Text Message

Season 4 Episode 6 "42-Year-Old Virgin"

38
9 6
Girlfriend Dumped After Asking "Who's in World Series Bowl?"

Season 3 Episode 11 "American Dream Factory"

39
9 6
Al Gore Honors Carlos Mencia for Recycling Jokes

Season 4 Episode 1 "The Vacation Goo"

40
9 6
ALIEN SPOTTED!

Season 4 Episode 14 "Office Spaceman"

41
12 10
Rob Schneider, Dead at 62

Season 2 Episode 16 "Tears of a Clooney"

42
9 7
It's 2007... Still No Flying Cars

Season 3 Episode 10 "Bush Comes to Dinner"

43
8 6
Homemade Valentine Proves Thought Doesn't Count

Season 3 Episode 12 "A.T. the Abusive Terrestrial"

44
9 8
Local Golf Pro Also Pretty Good at Gambling

Season 4 Episode 9 "Frannie 911"

45
15 15
King Kong Told Not to Use AIDS Quilt for Warmth

Season 2 Episode 14 "Helping Handis"

46
9 10
Optimistic Nerd's Glasses Half On

Season 4 Episode 12 "Widowmaker"

47
5 7
Friend's T-Shirt Idea Deemed "Genius!" by Friend

Season 4 Episode 13 "Red October Sky"

48
6 9
Paper Mill to Town: "You Smell Weird"

Season 4 Episode 2 "Meter Made"

49
10 14
Bush to Voters: "Votes for Dems Kill Angels!"

Season 3 Episode 4 "Lincoln Lover"

50
4 9
Man Tries Sushi for the First Time: "It's Okay"

Season 4 Episode 16 "Spring Break-Up"