Graveyard Shift 'American Horror Story' Is Actually The Funniest Show You're Too Afraid To Watch  

Rebecca Shortall
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List Rules Vote up American Horror Story's funniest moments.

American. Horror. Story. Most folks might think the show's title is a fairly large clue indicating just how traumatizing this show can be. What they don't know is, that in addition to the, yes, plentiful gore, scares and shocks, there's a strong through-line of darkly funny humor that's all the funnier for taking the audience by surprise. The funniest moments from American Horror Story are as hilarious as they are gif-able.  

These moments of dark humor on American Horror Story sometimes catch viewers off guard. The times American Horror Story was surprisingly funny stand in stark contrast to the bloodshed. What also makes American Horror Story funny is the fact that Ryan Murphy and his writers have a knack for writing endlessly quotable dialogue. Here are all the hilarious moments and jokes in AHS that will make even the most squeamish viewer feeling the FOMO that they're missing the most meme-able show on television.

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Hell Is Knotty Pine Walls


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Everyone has their own version of hell, and AHS: Coven showed us a few of the characters' personal versions of it, but none was more surprisingly funny than Fiona Goode's. She finds herself in a small house with pine wood walls and screams out in terror "knotty piiiiine" as though living in such a place would be anyone's idea of hell. It's such a great indication of her entire stuck-up character it's laugh out loud funny. 

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A Clapback Against Homophobia


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Constance (Jessica Lange), the sticky-fingered Murder House neighbor, has some pretty homophobic opinions to get out of her system to former Murder House owner Chad (Zachary Quinto). She decides to get all biblical on him and calls homosexuality an "abomination." Chad smoothly claps back with a read on her style choices, saying "So's that hairdo, but I figure that's your business." Really, the entire scene is some of the best sass of the season.

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The Name Game


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Asylum was a fairly bleak season with very few moments of levity. The one bright spot (if you can call it that) was a scene that came out of nowhere. After a delirious Sister Jude is forced into the asylum as a patient, she launches into a brightly coloured musical number of "The Name Game." There's a reason Jessica Lange gets to sing more than a couple times on AHS and the tonal dissonance really makes the laughs hit home.  

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"Don't Be A Hater, Dear"


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When Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) refers to a theremin (an electronic instrument controlled by using ones fingers to effect electronic sound waves) as "hideous and weird," Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy) has a simple and hilarious response. She says without a hint of irony and deeply haughty affectation, "Don't be a hater, dear." Myrtle is among the many reason AHS: Coven may have been the show's funniest season.