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'American Horror Story' Is Actually The Funniest Show You're Too Afraid To Watch

Updated September 22, 2020 5.6k votes 876 voters 48.1k views18 items

List RulesVote up American Horror Story's funniest moments.

American. Horror. Story. Most folks might think the show's title is a fairly large clue indicating just how traumatizing this show can be. What they don't know is, that in addition to the, yes, plentiful gore, scares and shocks, there's a strong through-line of darkly funny humor that's all the funnier for taking the audience by surprise. The funniest moments from American Horror Story are as hilarious as they are gif-able.  

These moments of dark humor on American Horror Story sometimes catch viewers off guard. The times American Horror Story was surprisingly funny stand in stark contrast to the bloodshed. What also makes American Horror Story funny is the fact that Ryan Murphy and his writers have a knack for writing endlessly quotable dialogue. Here are all the hilarious moments and jokes in AHS that will make even the most squeamish viewer feeling the FOMO that they're missing the most meme-able show on television. And don't forget to check out these shows like American Horror Story if you're still too scared to watch!

  • 9

    Hell Is Knotty Pine Walls

    Video: YouTube

    Everyone has their own version of hell, and AHS: Coven showed us a few of the characters' personal versions of it, but none was more surprisingly funny than Fiona Goode's. She finds herself in a small house with pine wood walls and screams out in terror "knotty piiiiine" as though living in such a place would be anyone's idea of hell. It's such a great indication of her entire stuck-up character it's laugh out loud funny. 

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  • 10

    The Name Game

    Video: YouTube

    Asylum was a fairly bleak season with very few moments of levity. The one bright spot (if you can call it that) was a scene that came out of nowhere. After a delirious Sister Jude is forced into the asylum as a patient, she launches into a brightly coloured musical number of "The Name Game." There's a reason Jessica Lange gets to sing more than a couple times on AHS and the tonal dissonance really makes the laughs hit home.  

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  • 11

    Shelley's Cucumber

    Photo: FX

    Briarcliff's resident nymphomaniac, Shelley (Chloë Sevigny), won't let being locked in an asylum stop her from sassing up a storm. Take this moment from Season 2, where she deadpans the means with which she gets her 5 servings of vegetables a day. Shelley's got a cucumber in her room, but not because she's hungry.  

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  • 12

    "Lesbians, We're Under Attack"

    Photo: FX

    Only Billy Eichner could deliver "Lesbians! We're under attack!" with a perfect straight face. In a tension-fuelled episode of American Horror Story: Cult this line comes out of nowhere to be the perfect amount of absurdity in the real-life nightmare the characters are living out.

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