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American Reunion Movie Quotes

Updated September 11, 2017 186 votes 65 voters 63.0k views12 items

The best 'American Reunion' movie quotes are hilarious, unforgettable and, not surprisingly, pretty raunchy. The highly-anticipated 2012 release of the fourth 'American Pie' movie finds all of the original characters from the first film returning to East Great Falls High School for their 10-year reunion. And yes, this includes Jim (Jason Biggs), Michelle ( Alyson Hannigan) and of course, Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) -- and Stifler delivers some of the best dialog. See a favorite 'American Reunion' quote? Vote it up! And, if you know of a great quote that isn't listed, by all means, add it! American Reunion cast

The East Great Falls High Class of 1999 is back in 'American Reunion.' Jim, Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Vicky (Tara Reid), Michelle, Heather (Mena Suvari), Finch (Eddie kaye Thomas) and Stifler are all back. They're older, but not necessarily wiser. The movie makes it quite clear that although this group has changed, they really haven't (especially Stifler, he hasn't changed a bit). It doesn't take long for the old gang to start acting like, well, the old gang. Oh, and Stifler's mom (Jennifer Coolidge) and Jim's dad (Eugene Levy) share a moment. Or two. Eww?

  • 1

    A Well-Placed Thumb

    Video: YouTube

    Jim's Dad: "I have not had a night like that since the 70s."
    Jim: "Don't need this."
    Jim's Dad: "You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb."

    Dear Jim's Dad: TMI. Way, way TMI. Everyone's been waiting for you to get it on with Stifler's mom, but we don't need a play by play. Or do we? This is an 'American Pie' movie, after all...
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  • 2

    Stifler's Mom

    Video: YouTube

    Jim's Dad: "And who might you be?"
    Stifler's Mom: "I'm Stifler's mom."
    Jim's Dad: "Oh! I'm Jim's dad..."

    Best. Lines. Ever. This hookup is going to be epic! Finch will be devastated.
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  • 3

    Don't Touch That

    Video: YouTube

    Evan: "Daddy?"
    Jim: "Evan! What the...you're opening doors now?!" (slams laptop down on privates and throws sock on Evan's head) "Oh my god, oh my god...don't touch that!"

    This particular quote really needs little explanation. Just watch the clip, okay? It's classic 'American Pie' humor as Jim does...well...what Jim does.
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  • 4

    Be Her Daddy

    Video: YouTube

    Steve Sifler: "There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl that you used to babysit. And you're not going to do anything about that?"
    Jim: "Need I remind you that I am married to Michelle?
    Steve Sifler: "Exactly. Dude, you could take what you learn from Kara, bring it home and apply it to Michelle. You do care about your marriage, don't you Jim?"
    Jim: "What are you talking about Stifler? I'm not going to cheat on my wife! I'm a father."
    Steve Sifler: "Yeah, that's perfect! Yeah, chicks love a father figure...keep playing that card."
    Jim: "It's not a card, it's the truth."
    Kara: "Hey. What are you guys talking about?"
    Steve Stifler: "Oh, you know, just - Jim was just saying how much fun he had taking care of you. Hey ladies, why don't we give them some time to catch up...(looks at Jim) "Be her daddy."

    Classic Stifler here. Leave it to Steve to try and get Jim to hookup with Kara, an 18-year-old hottie that he used to babysit.
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