16 Women On The Things Guys Think Are Chivalrous But Are Actually Just Annoying
You may be surprised to learn of the things considered chivalrous that are actually annoying to women. In fact, many women find chivalry in general to be a huge pain. Not because they're ungrateful, or because they're killjoys trying to ruin everybody else's good time. No, many women abhor these annoying chivalrous things because they separate a woman from her autonomy, making her an "other" incapable of everyday tasks. Though it might go against everything you may have learned growing up, understand please, boys, that gentlemen do cringeworthy stuff all the time without ever realizing women find it more obnoxious than Axe body spray.
The women of Reddit have plenty to say on the subject. Chivalrous gestures women hate include everything from censoring yourself because "a lady's present," to actually starting fights with other men in the name of a woman's "honor," oblivious to the fact she may not want to start a conflict. Guys, if you want to improve your luck with the ladies be a decent human being towards everyone, get rid of these obnoxious qualities. Chivalry is dead because it's outlived its purpose.
Protecting Women's "Delicate Ears"
From mypastmistakes:
"Preventing people from saying something in front of me.
'Hey hey hey, there's a lady present.'
Yeah, shut the f*ck up. If I don't like the topic or language, I'll say so."
Not Letting Them Do Things On Their Own
From Squickle:
"Not letting me do things: move things, pick things up, drive, pay for my meal, speak up for myself, open the door for someone else (especially a man). Seriously, I've got this. I promise I'll ask for help when or if it's needed."
Getting Into Fights For A Woman's 'Honor'
From mayfleur:
"Getting into fights for 'a woman's honor.' I can't tell you how many times, living in a college town, I've seen some drunk jerk call a woman a name or insult her, and instead of diffusing the situation or calling the guy out for being rude, her boyfriend's first instinct is to pick a fight. No one wants to have to explain to the police why their boyfriend was punching some dude in a Burger King parking lot."
Holding The Door Open For Women Even When They're Super Far Away
From anytime_yoga:
"Hold open doors while I am still awkwardly far away.
I often feel like I need to run in order to get to the held door faster.
This is doubly awkward if I'm carrying something or having a bad pain day such that I can't run. (This is also where I see how quickly the door-holder will look irritated, which is possibly why I feel compelled to run toward those doors that I can.)
This is triply awkward if I'm not even going in that door, anyway."
Just Chivalry In General
From worried19:
"Everything.
They don't do those things with me (thank God), but I hate the idea of any type of behavior that puts women into the category of needing special care or protection. I can take care of myself. I'm not delicate, and I'm not some freaking princess. I can lift my own sh*t and open my own doors. I don't want gendered anything in my relationship. Just treat me the same as you would another guy."
Elderly Men Giving Up Seats To Young Healthy Women
From lentil5:
"When senior men stand up to give me a seat or open a door for me. Dude, I'm young and able-bodied. You deserve the seat. I will open the door for you. I appreciate the gesture and politeness but I feel like being elderly deserves more consideration and deference than being a woman."