New Years New Years Resolutions You'll Never Keep (So Just Stop)  

Jacob Shelton
321 votes 118 voters 3.6k views 25 items

New Year's Eve is the worst. Not just because it’s a holiday for people that never party, and not just because your neighbors won’t stop shooting off fireworks even though your street isn’t zoned for that kind of activity, but because of the insane pressure we put on one night to carry us through the rest of the year. New Year's Day is THE WORST because of all the stupid resolutions you make year after year, from weightless goals to lifestyle choices. For whatever reason, people never resolve to clean their glasses more, or remember to take out the trash when the bin is full. No, the resolutions most people make are the hardest New Year's resolutions to keep. We've put together a list of the worst New Year's resolutions that you should probably just give up already. 

If you’re looking for a couple of New Year's resolution ideas, this is not the place for that kind of nonsense. But if you’re looking to be validated for giving up on those resolutions before you even start, carry on reading. Whether you’re trying to stop drinking, or hit the gym, we’re here to talk you out of it. After all, no one wants to hang out with someone who works out all day and doesn't drink whiskey. 

Vote up the most annoying New Year's resolutions below, and be sure to let us know what you think in the comment section. 
1 32 VOTES

Start Exercising

Let's face it, exercising is too hard for a busy titan of industry like yourself. And how would you look if you joined a gym in January like every other chump? Obviously, you would look like a chump, and you are not a chump. Plus, that $39.99 a month thing is going to add up fast, especially when you know you'll never go. You could be spending that money on something much more beer. 
25 7
Too real?
2 26 VOTES

Eat Healthier

Be honest. Which sounds better to you: cauliflower or pizza? PIZZA, obviously. Anybody who says that they truly enjoy eating low-carb, non-fat, gluten-free, or low-calorie is a dirty lying liar. 
21 5
Too real?
3 24 VOTES

Drink Less Alcohol, or Stop Drinking All Together

 LOL, JK, this is never going to happen. Here's how this is going to go: you'll stop drinking for a week and feel all high and mighty, and then the moment you have to meet your girlfriend's parents or meet up with your sorority sisters for brunch, you're going to swallow a gallon of tequila and be the life of the party once more.
18 6
Too real?
4 20 VOTES

Quit Smoking

 No matter how hard you try, there's no way you're going to be able to quit smoking this year. Not only does it look super cool, but it's way better than vaping. 
15 5
Too real?