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Are You Here Movie Quotes

Updated November 6, 2017 87 votes 48 voters 11.3k views8 items

"Are You Here" movie quotes bring the laughs and the strife as one family responds after their father dies. The comedy film was written and directed by Matthew Weiner in his feature film debut. "Are You Here" opened in theaters on August 22, 2014.

In "Are You Here," Ben Baker (Zach Galifianakis) gets the news that his estranged father has passed away. Ben does not take the news well and seeks out his functional burnout weatherman friend Steve (Owen Wilson) for comfort. Together, they two head out on a road trip to Ben's hometown for the funeral.

Ben also soon learns that his father left the majority is his estate, house and business included, to him over his sister Terry (Amy Poehler), a fact that angers Terry considerably. Terry fights back, contesting Ben's mental state. Steve comes to Ben's rescue during the ordeal, not because he's the only true friend for the unstable loner, but because Steve knows that if Ben keeps the inheritance, Steve might just get a cut.

"Are You Here" has stiff competition at the box office opening alongside the likes of "Sin City: A Dame to Kill For," "If I Stay," "When the Game Stands Tall," "The Expendables 3," "Let's Be Cops," "Life After Beth," "Frank," "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," "The Hundred-Foot Journey "Guardians of the Galaxy," "Get On Up," "Hercules," "Lucy," "Magic in the Moonlight," "A Most Wanted Man," "Happy Christmas," "Planes: Fire & Rescue," "Sex Tape," "Wish I Was Here, "And So It Goes, and "Dawn of Planet of the Apes."
  • 1

    Nobody Believes in Friendship

    Steve: "See, nobody believes in friendship. People talk about it. That's the thing about friendship, it's a lot rarer than love because there's nothing in it for anybody."

    Despite being kind of a burnout, Steve gives some pretty solid remarks about friendship. This totally explains that for Ben, Steve's friendship is what is most important to him.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 2

    Hottest and Wettest Spot in the Nation

    Hottest and Wettest Spot in th is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Are You Here Movie Quotes
    Video: YouTube

    Dave: "Do you think the graphic's in bad taste?"
    Stu: "I don't know. I think it captures the mood."
    Dave: "She's really solid."
    Stu: "And he's really high."
    Dave: "You know, Stu, you just don't go spreading rumors about people like that. The man's a working professional. Lots of people have squinty red eyes, insatiable thirst and trouble walking. He could be diabetic or someting."
    Stu: "You're right. I'm sorry."
    Victoria: "The bearded, bespeckeled doctor murdered at least 26 patients, making him one of the world's most prolific killers. So, Steve, how's it looking out there today? It's about time we saw some of this warmer weather."
    Steve: "Well, Victoria, let get things started with a little shot of the harbor with some seagulls enjoying some sunshine. How you doing there, fellas? Today's high will get up to about 65 degrees with unlimited visibility which means if we could get this knucklehead out of the way, you could see clear down to Ocean City. Coldest spot in the nation, why that honor goes to Bismarck!"
    Dave: "Smooth as silk! That seem to you like someone on drugs?"
    Steve: "And at 100% humidity and 89 degrees, Little Hilo, Hawaii, is both the hottest and wettest spot in the nation. I guess that makes it the number-one destination for teenage boys, eh, Victoria?"
    Victoria: "I guess so, Steve."

    Steve's coworkers at the news station disagree over Steve's sometimes odd behavior. Just as Dave is defending Steve against Stu's claims that he's on drugs, Steve says something completely inappropriate on live television.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 3

    To My Son Ben, I Leave My House...

    To My Son Ben, I Leave My Hous is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Are You Here Movie Quotes
    Video: YouTube

    Karl: "To my son Ben, I leave my house, my business and the remainder of the estate."
    Ben: "What?"
    Terry: "You've gotta be kidding me."
    Ben: "I need some air."
    Terry: "Was he even competent when he wrote this?"
    Karl: "Your father was quite lucid."
    Ben: "I'm sorry, my suit was really itchy. I…"
    Steve: "So I'm not mentioned in there at all?"

    When the family learns that their father has left the majority of his estate to oddball son Ben, they are not pleased. As usual, Terry does not hide her feelings and immediately lashes out.
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  • 4

    A Man Died Here, a Very Rich Man

    A Man Died Here, a Very Rich M is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Are You Here Movie Quotes
    Video: YouTube

    Karl: "Whatever remains of me is hopefully not limited to my estate, my belongings. Know that what I leave you is in no way a measure of my feeling . Angela, you are the executor with all that entails. From the first time I saw you in my store, leading that field trip of special young students, I knew the power of your soul to heal others was surely from another place. I would have left the planet long ago if not for making love to you, the kindness of your curves, your moistness in the morning, my fingers gently…"
    Terry: "Oh, come on!"
    Steve: "Yeah, wow!"
    Terry: "Again, what are you doing here?"
    Ben: "He's with me."
    Steve: "I'll leave."
    Ben: "You got to bring him."
    Terry: "He's my husband."
    Steve: "Please, can we stop all this bickering? A man died here, a very rich man."

    When the family gathers to hear the reading of their father's will, things go from awkward to gross to just plain ugly, and fast.
    Should this be higher or lower?
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