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One Hell-Raising Apollo Astronaut Proved You Can Be A Smartass On The Moon

Updated September 7, 2018 9.9k views10 items

If you imagine astronauts as stone cold, serious American heroes, Pete Conrad will definitely challenge that assumption. The late astronaut, the third person to walk on the moon, was known as the Bart Simpson of NASA. And for good reasons! Conrad was part of some pretty serious programs, from Skylab to the Apollo 12 crew, but he never let the the highbrow nature of his work affect his sense of humor. Pete Conrad stories often involve disgusting pranks, cruel nicknames, and some pretty daring maneuvers.

A sense of humor is often necessary during somber and - sometimes - dangerous work. Due to his carefree nature, astronaut Pete Conrad is remembered fondly by his colleagues. He was able to laugh off disaster and keep people calm in the face of adversity. Reading up on Pete Conrad, and his array of contributions to NASA, will leave you both inspired and amused.

  • He Came Up With A Secret Code For The Astronauts – So They Could Talk Filth Whenever They Wanted

    Conrad invented a secret code language for astronauts frequently used in the NASA communication loop. The purpose of this code was not official, serous business, however. The code allowed astronauts to discuss personal mattes – typically involving R-rated content – without outsiders being able to understand.

  • He Was Initially Rejected From NASA Due To Some Truly Disgusting Practical Jokes

    Conrad met most of the basic criteria to become an astronaut, but was not chosen the first time he applied as he disliked the selection process. He found some of the questions and tests intrusive, and made this apparent via some pretty disgusting “jokes.” When asked to provide a stool sample, he presented the sample in a box with ribbon tied around it.

    After receiving more unwanted tests and questioning from doctors, Conrad finally got fed up. He dumped an entire enema bag on the desk of the commander conducting the tests. He then resigned from the program. His application was subsequently rejected. 

  • He Made A Mockery Of His Entry Exam

    Conrad was not chosen to be one of the original American astronauts, known as the Mercury Seven. Conrad suspected this was because he had not taken some of the entry exams seriously and cracked jokes throughout the process. When taking a Rorschach test, for example, he was shown a blank card. When asked to comment, he said, “It’s upside down.”

  • Photo: NASA / WikiMedia / Public Domain

    He Gave His Fellow Astronauts Demeaning Nicknames

    Conrad was known to give his fellow astronauts deliberately demeaning nicknames. James Lovell was the recipient of one of Conrad’s most memorable nicknames. Lovell, who was on the nearly fatal Apollo 13 mission, was referred to as “Shaky.”