If you need a crash course in how to not tell kids about divorce, check out these stories. Telling your kids about divorce never feels easy— and while there may be no right way to do it, there are certainly some wrong ones. Some terribly wrong ones.
When it comes down to it, how to tell kids about divorce is one of the trickiest parts. You need to reassure them it's not their fault, but that's easier said than done when you've got resentment issues brewing between you and your partner. Plus there's the fear that the kids might take sides. Folks at Reddit shared their stories of how kids can find out about their parents' separation, and offer some advice on how to tell your kids about divorce. These stories of how kids found out about divorce are entirely unfair, featuring violence, animosity, and straight-up blame towards the kids. Divorce comes with enough baggage, and nobody needs this on top of it.
"My parents aren't divorced, but they separated when I was seven. The way I remember it, I walked into the living room and my mom asked me point-blank who I wanted to live with. I cried. That's all I really remember. My mom says there was more to it, but I think she doesn't remember correctly. I think if they'd sat down with me and explained that they still cared for each other, but just weren't in love anymore, but that they'd always love me, etc., it would have been a lot easier."
18 Years Later
"My parents divorced so long ago I can barely remember it, but on my wedding day they still refused to stand together so I could have a photo of my biological parents with me in my bridal gown.
18 years of he-said/she-said, of guilt tripping, of emotional manipulation. I love them both, but they didn't provide me with an emotionally healthy start to life - if one parent hates the other, then it feels like they hate part of you too."
"I deeply resent them for how childish they acted. They would torment me for wanting spend time with the other parent. My mother would use 'go live with your father' as a threat when I was still living with her (my dad isn't a bad person but we don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of important issues). I still hate how they involved me in their mess ('tell them ___', 'you're the reason I stayed', etc.) and how they had no sympathy for my mental health issues. I'm thankful to be an adult now and be able to have relationships with them independent of each other and also at a distance."
Just A Seperation
"My parents got divorced when I was 13. Before that, I didn't know much about divorce aside from some I had been exposed to on TV and a couple of kids I knew in school. When it happened to my parents, my emotions ranged from sad to absolutely devastated. This also probably because it happened right around my birthday during middle school, an already emotionally unstable time for me. My parents both told me it was a separation, that they were trying it out and hopefully getting back together in a month or so. That, obviously, never happened."