Of all possible awkward occasions, awkward bikini wax moments probably induce the most cringing. Anyone who's endured a wax themselves knows how strange it can get. Waxes already bring about some awkwardness—you've got your genitals on show to a stranger in all their overgrown glory. But you add the possibility for every single bodily fluid under the sun to get involved and things can get pretty ugly. At the very least, it's minorly uncomfortable for everyone involved. At its worst, it's total carnage.
These bikini wax horror stories come straight from Reddit, where bikini waxers themselves bare it all, no pun intended. If you ever wanted to ask your waxer in the middle of a session what their worst day at work was, but felt too embarrased to ask, Reddit has you covered. Poop, tampons, and just plain screaming bloody murder—bikini waxers have seen it all.
When I was doing his (yes his) assh*le, he clenched and accidentally projectile-sprayed little bits of poo at me.
When I was in beauty college, I had an obese woman come in for a Brazilian. As she was paying for it, (payment first, service after) xhe mentioned that her father was paying for this. Okay, no big deal, my dad gives me money for pedicures and I use it to wax my legs on occasion instead, so he probably doesn't know specifically what she's doing.
As we walk back to the wax room, she continues talking about her dad paying and how he prefers that she gets this done. Uh okay, so he knows...whatever.
She immediately yanked off her pants and panties and jumped on the bed. I had to ask her to get up so in order for me to wipe it down and put down paper. When she got up there was already a sweat mark on the leather. I gave her some wipes and asked that she clean the area as best she can. I caught a glimpse of the towels and they were gold from I'm assuming not drinking enough water, causing her urine stains to be super dark. The whole process took an hour, due to stopping between flaps, changing gloves and the occasional gag. Her go-to conversation topic was how I should get with a black man, why hot Cheetos with hot nacho cheese was a amazing midnight snack, and how she can't wait to get home to her dad. I'm still confused over the entire thing.
As an esthetician, honestly everyone's junk starts to kind of look the same. I have waxed many obese people, and honestly its not the biggest deal, larger people tend to deal with the pain better and for that reason are easier to wax.
The worst story I have is probably the second Brazilian wax I ever did, while I was still learning in school. At school, the public can come in for services at a low rate with the understanding that the person working on them is still a beginner. This attracts some weirdos.
This woman who came in tried to get me to give her a Brazilian wax while she was on her period. Normally if the client is wearing a tampon, this can be done without issue: not this time.
I left the room to allow the woman to put on the disposable underwear and lie down on the bed. When I came back, the disposables, the paper on the table, and her own hands were soaked with blood. Naturally, I kind of freaked out and asked if she had been injured.
"Oh don't be silly, it's just a little mess."
That's right, this is what she said to me.
Luckily we have the right to refuse services and I was able to get an instructor to come in and explain to this woman why this wasn't going to be able to happen today and to rebook for another day. She seemed confused and surprised, but left without a fuss and I luckily was never booked with her again.
My girl just told me this story about a client she had yesterday. I was literally cringing in awkwardness as she told me the story.
The woman was 58-years-old, short hair and married, with a concerned look on her face. My girlfriend told her to get ready and that she will be back in a few minutes, then asked her if something troubled her.
Woman: "I just have one thing to say first...any bruises you see are totally consensual."
Girlfriend (GF): "Uh, okay."
The entire time my GF waxed her body, the woman decided she would continue discussing her bruising. Other such statements made by the lady during the waxing/sugaring:
"My husband really gave it to me last night...he was just pounding away."
"How many bruises are down there? Can you count them?"
"Oh man my butt must be really bruised, it hurts the worst."
"I am going to be so much worse after tonight."