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Bad Grandpa Movie Quotes

Updated November 6, 2017 211 votes 73 voters 87.0k views10 items

"Bad Grandpa" movie quotes bring the laughs as the "Jackass" crew is back for another feature film. The reaction comedy was written by Jeff Tremaine, Johnny Knoxville and Spike Jonze with Tremaine also serving as the director and Knoxville the lead actor. "Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa" opened in theaters on October 25, 2013.

"Bad Grandpa" follows "Jackass" character Irving Zisman (Johnny Knoxvile), an 86 year old who is traveling across the country with grandson Billy (Jackson Nicoll) to deliver the boy to his father after his mother is jailed. Along the way, the pair meet a number of colorful characters such as supermarket clerks upset that Irving shoplifted, shocked wedding and funeral guests and many others who simply don't have time for the ruckus.

While the film does follow a loose plot, it includes many of the stunts and pranks from previous "Jackass" films though Knoxville portrays the old man character throughout the film.

If "Bad Grandpa" looks just plain bad, there are many other great films in theaters such as "The Counselor," "Escape Plan," "The Fifth Estate," "Captain Phillips," "Gravity," "Machete Kills," "Runner Runner," "Don Jon," "Rush, "Prisoners,", "Enough Said," "The Family," and "Riddick,".
  • 5

    You're Very Pretty When You're Mad

    Video: YouTube

    Supermarket Clerk: "They're going to take that child away from you!"
    Irving Zisman: "I'm sorry."
    Supermarket Clerk: "You are sorry. You're sorry as hell!"
    Irving Zisman: "You're very pretty when you're mad."
    Supermarket Clerk: "You're pissing me off."

    After a failed shoplifting attempt, the store clerk gives Irving a few choice words. Irving is oddly turned on by the outburst.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 6

    Don't Hurt Me!

    Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY

    Man on Bicycle: "Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!"
    Irving Zisman: "Hurt you? I'm 86 years old!"
    Man on Bicycle: "Don't hurt me!"

    Irving Zisman may be 86 years old but he's put fear into one random man on a bicycle in this scene. Hopefully his tactic if screaming "don't hurt me" repeatedly will be a good defense.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 7

    I'm Taking You to Your Dad

    Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY

    Irving Zisman: "I'm taking you to your dad so he can look after you… Come on, let's have some fun."

    In one of the few moments when the actual plot--yes, there's a plot--peaks through, we see Irving and Billy in the car heading to send Billy to his father. "Bad Grandpa" marks the first "Jackass" film with an actual plot, albeit a loose one.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 8

    Where Are We Going?

    Video: YouTube

    Billy: "Where are we going?"
    Irving Zisman: "Just keep going straight. You getting tired?"
    Billy: "Yeah, you should drink so much."

    As part of their cross-country journey to deliver Billy to his dad, Billy and Irving find themselves pushing a shopping cart in the middle of nowhere. Well, Billy at least is doing the pushing, Irving is riding in the cart, probably drunk.
    Should this be higher or lower?