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Bad Teacher Quotes

Updated September 20, 2019 469 votes 201 voters 150.6k views20 items

'Bad Teacher' quotes are definitely memorable, particularly those from the movie's lead character, Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz). Yes, she's a bad, BAD teacher with an attitude to match. She doesn't give a rip about much of anything, save for marrying a nice sugar daddy and making enough money to afford a nice boob job (to snag the aforementioned sugar daddy). And if you missed the movie in theaters, the 'Bad Teacher' DVD was set for release on October 18, 2011. So what are some of the best quotes from Bad Teacher? Check out some of these quotes from the new 'Bad Teacher' movie, and add your own to the list!

'Bad Teacher' is a raunchy, offensive and totally hilarious movie packed with great one-liners. In addition to Cameron Diaz, the movie boasts a stellar cast, including Jason Segel, Lucy Punch, Justin Timberlake and Phyllis Smith.

'Bad Teacher' did well at the box office, taking in an estimated $31.6 million during its opening weekend. All total, as of early-September 2011, the movie has earned nearly $202 million worldwide.

Looking for more raunchy comedy movie quotes? Check out these lists for hilarious quips from 'Horrible Bosses,' 'Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star,' 'The Change-Up,' and 'Friends With Benefits!'
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  • 1

    I Don't Give a F**k

    I Don't Give a F**k
    Video: YouTube

    Lynn: "Are you excited for tomorrow?"
    Elizabeth: "Is tomorrow Saturday?"
    Lynn: "No, it's the first day of school."
    Elizabeth: "Yeah, I'm not going to go to that."
    Lynn: "But it's mandatory."
    Elizabeth: "Ooooohhh! I don't give a f**k."

    She really doesn't. Not one F. Elizabeth's sole purpose is not to educate wonderful young minds. No, she's in it to win herself a husband - and a boob job. What other motivation does a teacher need?
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  • 2

    A Big Heart

    A Big Heart
    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY

    Elizabeth: "So did you and your wife just move to town?"
    Scott: "I'm not married. I actually just got out of a relationship. (shows picture of his amply endowed ex) She has such big heart."
    Elizabeth: "Enormous."

    Elizabeth knows now what she has to do. She must, she must, she must increase her bust! If she wants to snag Scott (and his family money), it's time to have some plastic surgery to get herself a big...heart.
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  • 3

    Mad At It

    Mad At It
    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    Elizabeth: "Get yourself hard, 'cause I'm going to suck your dick like I'm mad at it."
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  • 4

    The Car Wash

    The Car Wash
    Video: YouTube

    Student: "We're having our car wash this weekend. Last year's car wash raised six thousand dollars."
    Elizabeth: "Let's do this."

    Clips of a soaking wet, scantily-clad Elizabeth slithering around on cars while bagging big bucks at the school car wash will likely sell some serious movie tickets for 'Bad Teacher.' Yep.
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