Funny The Funniest Band Jokes  

Jack Napier
13.7k votes 4k voters 82.2k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up any funny joke that will make a band geek laugh

The band jokes, puns, and humor on this list are all funny because they’re true (except for the one about the flaming oboe), and we heard all these marching band jokes from men and women who were actually in high school band. We’re sure that anyone who went on to play in marching bands in college and beyond have some funny jokes too, but we stopped talking to them ages ago. Whether you were a flutist or a percussionist (let’s be real - if you’re a drummer you can't read this) you’ll not only identify, you’ll laugh your weird little marching hat off at these band jokes and band puns.

Everyone who went to high school in America has had an experience with a band geek. Either you knew one or you were one – and if you don’t know which one you were then you were the band geek. We never saw the point in waking up early and marching around a dewy field while carrying a heavy instrument, but that’s what makes all you band kids so special. The other thing that makes you so great is that you have a sense of humor about yourself, or at least we hope you do, because we’ve got a whole mess of jokes about band geeks on this list.

Vote up all your favorite joke for band geeks, and if you’ve got one for us, skip the sheet music and just play your funny song in the comments!

list ordered by
1
791 271
How Many Trumpet Players Does ... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Many Trumpet Players Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Five. One to actually do it and the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
2
675 220
What Do Clarinets and Lawsuits... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What Do Clarinets and Lawsuits Have in Common?
Everyone is relieved once the case is closed.
3
521 152
What Do You Get When You Cross... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What Do You Get When You Cross a Piccolo with a Clarinet?
A serious migraine.
4
632 202
What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Tenor Sax and a Macaw?
One is loud, obnoxious, and impossible to shut up. The other is a bird.
5
1,076 402
What's One Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's One Difference Between a Clarinet and a Mouse?
You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band.
6
513 152
What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Difference Between Trumpet Players and Government Bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
7
508 151
How Do You Know When a Tuba Pl... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Do You Know When a Tuba Player Is at Your Door?
You don't. They can't find the right key and they don't know when to make an entrance.
8
663 227
How Many Conductors Does It Ta... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Many Conductors Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Probably only one, but who's really watching?
9
664 231
How Do You Confuse a Drummer? is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Do You Confuse a Drummer?
Put sheet music in front of him.
10
313 84
What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Difference Between an Oboe and an Onion?
No one cries when you cut apart an oboe.
11
408 132
How Do You Know When a Clarine... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Do You Know When a Clarinet Player Is Playing Loudly?
You can almost hear them.
12
467 162
What Do Trumpet Players Use as... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What Do Trumpet Players Use as Birth Control?
Their personalities.
13
345 102
Flute Players Spend Half the T... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
Flute Players Spend Half the Time Tuning Their Instruments...
And the other half playing out of tune.
14
302 88
How Do You Make a Trombone Sou... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Do You Make a Trombone Sound like a French Horn?
Stick your hand in and play a lot of wrong notes.
15
282 87
How Many Clarinet Players Does... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Many Clarinet Players Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Only one, but they'll go through the whole box to find just the right one.
16
233 68
What's the Range of a Picc... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Range of a Piccolo?
Oh, about thirty yards on a clear day.
17
225 68
What's a Flaming Oboe Good... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's a Flaming Oboe Good for?
Lighting a bassoon on fire.
18
232 76
Why Is a Bassoon Better than a... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
Why Is a Bassoon Better than an Oboe?
It burns longer.
19
234 83
What Is a Gentleman? is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What Is a Gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the trombone but doesn't.
20
202 65
What's the Definition of a... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Definition of a Minor Second?
Two piccolos playing in tune.
21
222 85
What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Saxophone and a Lawnmower?
Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles.
22
177 67
What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Cobra and a Bad Oboist?
A bad oboist can really kill you.
23
237 112
How Do You Clean a Sousaphone? is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
How Do You Clean a Sousaphone?
With a tuba toothpaste!
24
198 99
Why Do Clarinetists Leave Thei... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
Why Do Clarinetists Leave Their Cases on the Dashboard?
So they can park in handicap zones.
25
174 82
What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Band Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Bassoon and a Trampoline?
You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline.