Bartender stories are the best. Since they deal with such a wide variety of people under some of the strangest circumstances, everyone who's worked in a bar is bound to come out of it with a wild tale at some point. From belligerent drunkards to inebriated imbeciles, hilarious hijinks to absolute horror stories, here are stories of bartenders who finally had enough, and had to cut off their customers from downing any more drinks before things got even more out of hand!
You May Now Boink The Bridesmaid
Posted by u/notnicholas:
I bartended weddings in a hotel ballroom in a smaller, rural town.
At one particular wedding, the groom and groomsmen went out to the parking lot to annihilate the beers that were stashed in the groom's truck. The wedding party had already cashed in four kegs by 9:30 pm, and the father of the bride, who was paying for it all, declined buying any more.
Anyway, all of the groomsmen eventually came back in to the reception/dance. The bride storms out to the parking lot when she sees everyone but her new hubby return, then promptly returns, red in the face, makeup smeared, and bawling her eyes out... she screams at her bridesmaids to "go get her out of that truck!"
Bridesmaids go out and drag another bridesmaid out of the truck and into the hotel bathroom to help her get back into her dress properly. Groom strolls up to the bar and orders some Jack while tucking his shirt in.
We closed the bar at that exact moment.Closing time?
You Spin Me Right 'Round, Baby
Posted by a former Redditor:
We decided to let her finish her drink before we cut her off. After a few sips, she got real ornery and called me over, angrily demanding that I serve her a drink. Confused, since she had three-fourths of a cocktail sitting in front of her, I picked her drink up, spun around, and put it back down in front of her. "Thank you," she said with a bite to her tone, and took a sip.
Not a minute later do I hear her b*tching again that we won't serve her. Same deal, nearly full drink right before her eyes, so I do another pirouette with her cocktail in hand and drop it back in front of her. I must have done this a dozen times times, and she never once realized it was the same drink. My only regret is not charging her each time I did it.Closing time?
Posted by u/YukonCornIV:
I was standing at the end of the bar when a bartender... cut a guy off. He threatened to "come back there and shake" her and began to head for the back of the bar when she responded with, "You can't touch me! I'm Wonder Woman, and I have an invisible force field!"
He stood there for a minute, scratched his head, then left.
It was beautiful. I was smitten. We have been married for 13 years.Closing time?
Posted by u/ivegotagoldenticket:
They ordered a shot. Took it. Threw it up into the glass. Took it again.
...Yeah, you're done.Closing time?