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The Funniest Quotes From 'Airplane!'

The best quotes from Airplane! make you realize how funny the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while, let's rank the greatest Airplane! quotes, with the help of your votes. Starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, and Leslie Nielsen, Airplane was directed by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker, and was released in 1988. Since its release, the movie Airplane! can easily be considered a cult classic and a very quotable film.

What are your favorite lines from Airplane? One of the memorable one-liners was when Rumack said, "I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley" Another great line from Airplane is, "I know. I know. But it's his ship now, his command; he's in charge, he's the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, number one..." Spoken by Rex Kramer who was played by Robert Stack.

Vote up all the quotes from Airplane! you want to see at the top of the list, regardless of which character they come from.

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  • 5
    134 VOTES

    Make A Guess

    Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?

    Captain Oveur: I can't tell.

    Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.

    Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.

    Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?

    Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.

    Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

    122
    12
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  • 6
    255 VOTES

    The Wrong Week

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

    (again in the film)

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

    (and again)

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

    (later)

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

    226
    29
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  • 7
    226 VOTES

    Roger

    Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.

    Captain Oveur: Roger!

    Roger Murdock: Huh?

    Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.

    Captain Oveur: Roger!

    Roger Murdock: Huh?

    Victor Basta: Request vector, over.

    Captain Oveur: What?

    Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.

    Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.

    Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?

    Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!

    Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.

    Tower voice: Over.

    Captain Oveur: Roger.

    Roger Murdock: Huh?

    Tower voice: Roger, over!

    Roger Murdock: What?

    Captain Oveur: Huh?

    Victor Basta: Who?

    199
    27
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  • 8
    185 VOTES

    Fly A Plane

    Elaine Dickinson: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

    161
    24
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