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The Funniest Quotes From 'Airplane!'

Updated November 4, 2019 3.7k votes 437 voters 8.7k views23 items

The best quotes from Airplane! make you realize how funny the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while, let's rank the greatest Airplane! quotes, with the help of your votes. Starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, and Leslie Nielsen, Airplane was directed by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker, and was released in 1988. Since its release, the movie Airplane! can easily be considered a cult classic and a very quotable film.

What are your favorite lines from Airplane? One of the memorable one-liners was when Rumack said, "I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley" Another great line from Airplane is, "I know. I know. But it's his ship now, his command; he's in charge, he's the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, number one..." Spoken by Rex Kramer who was played by Robert Stack.

Vote up all the quotes from Airplane! you want to see at the top of the list, regardless of which character they come from.

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  • 1

    Shirley

    Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?

    Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.

    Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

    395
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  • 2

    A Hospital

    Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.

    Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?

    Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

    287
    23
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  • 3

    Stop Calling Me

    Rumack: I won't deceive you, Mr. Striker. We're running out of time.

    Ted Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.

    Rumack: I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!

    205
    10
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  • 4

    The Wrong Week

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

    (again in the film)

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

    (and again)

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

    (later)

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

    261
    32
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