Sometimes you find yourself in sticky situations that have a lot of gray areas in regards to who is right or wrong. It's difficult to understand the perspectives of other people at times, which is where the subreddit r/AmITheA**hole comes in. The posts become a forum for Redditors to give its author feedback on their actions from a neutral standpoint and answer that single remaining question: AITA? Here's some of the wildest tales from the subreddit; vote up the stories where the poster is the a**hole, and vote down the stories where the poster isn't.
My girlfriend and I are both college students. She lives in an apartment on her own and I live with my parents.
On Sunday, my girlfriend made homemade lasagna for our date night. She made everything from scratch, including the noodles. It was really good so after we finished I asked if I could take lasagna home for my family to try. She said yes. When I left that night, I took the tray of lasagna with me. My girlfriend didn't walk me out so she didn't see me take the tray.
On Monday, I got a text from my girlfriend asking where her lasagna was. I told her I had taken it home for my family. She said "I thought you were going to take SOME... not the whole thing. I spent most of my food budget for the week on it with the intention to eat leftovers for the rest of the week. Now I don't know what I'm going to eat." I felt bad and apologized but pointed out that I had asked her if I could take it home and she didn't tell me that I couldn't take the whole tray. She said it should have been obvious that I shouldn't take the whole thing since the tray was so big. To be fair to her, it was a really big tray (my family of 5 only just finished the tray yesterday after eating it for dinner both nights) but I don't think the size of the tray makes it obvious that I shouldn't take it.
Monday night and last night, my girlfriend complained that she had to eat instant noodles for dinner so that she wouldn't blow her food budget. Today, she is asking me if I can buy her a sandwich since I took her leftovers for the week. It sucks that she spent her food budget on the lasagna but I think this is her fault for not being clear that I shouldn't take the whole thing. I don't think she is justified in asking me to buy her lunch because of it. She called me an a**hole for not being willing to help her out.
Am I the a**hole?
From a former Redditor:
She has been breastfeeding for 6 months since the baby was born and now wants to switch to formula. She makes plenty of milk and everything, she just says she “feels done.” I think if she wants to stop for basically no reason then the money for formula should come out of her personal spending money because she is the one making that decision. She says I’m an a**hole and it should come from the family/grocery budget (which is already tight) even though I don’t have a say.
Am I the a**hole?
From /u/ Resident_Occasion :
I'm the VP of Sales at a software company and one of our sales development reps parents passed away at the beginning of April, sadly they were involved in a car collision and both lost their lives. Now the employee in question in very young 22-year-old guy and has been with us for about 10 months now. He's a great employee and we were thinking about promotions in the next ~six months for him. His job is a high paying one for a new grad, about ~90k with commission and base so we expect a lot from this position. Because of the mishap we let him take a 1 month paid leave of absence from work and he's returned a few weeks ago and his performance is severely lacking. He's super unmotivated, not cold calling, out reaching to prospects for the last 2-3 weeks enough since he's come back. Our whole mgmt team has noticed this and we decided to let him go because we feel like he'd need months and months to be able to produce again and we can't just wait that long.
We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news, he was very calm and rude about it. Told us to go f*ck ourselves and got up and went to his desk grabbed his few things and left. I thought this was very very unprofessional and extremely rude.
I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said myself and my management team are a bunch of a**es and pr*cks with no hearts.
Am I the a**hole for firing him?
From a former Redditor:
I was with my ex for seven years. At the time she had a 2-year-old, and when we split, her daughter was 9-years-old. She called me dad pretty quickly, plus we all lived together. I thought we'd become a family proper through marriage eventually but obviously things didn't pan out and we split. It was amicable and we're still friends.
Her daughter is 14 now and still calls me dad. My ex hasn't started dating again but I'm engaged to my soon-to-be-wife. We all get along but my fiancee doesn't like that kiddo calls me dad. I'm not her dad, biologically or otherwise, but I was a father figure for seven years (and even beyond this, I still kept involved in her life).
My fiancee wants me to put the kibosh on this because it makes her uncomfortable. We want to start a family of our own soon and my fiancee wants my undivided attention on our child. I can see her point although I'm indifferent to the whole dad situation: if she calls me dad, whatever, but I must relent to my fiancee's wishes because I'm not staunchly opposed to her thoughts or anything.
I'm going to have a sitdown with my ex and her daughter and split ties to focus on my own family. But would I be the a**hole?