Tequila: steroids for your personality
Tequila is like steroids for your personality. You’ve got to be careful because the buzz it provides intensifies whatever mood you’re in significantly. So, if you drink tequila while you’re happy, you’ll become kid-on-Christmas levels of ecstatic. If you drink it while you’re a little sad, you’ll spiral into an abyss of misery.
Mind you, whatever place tequila takes you to; you’ll be in that state unapologetically. If the quote “Dance like nobody’s watching” were a living, breathing person, it’d be you with a belly full of tequila.
Whiskey: basically a formal dress code in alcohol form
This provides you with that mature, sophisticated buzz that’ll have you feeling grown but also laid back, like the cool aunt/uncle who is aware of what’s in style and what lingo the kids these days are using.
Whiskey is essentially a formal dress code in alcohol form, and there’s no way to not feel cool while drinking and getting buzzed from it.
Rum: like fireworks - fun if you're responsible, deadly if you're not
When you have the opportunity to get buzzed 1700s pirate style, you absolutely should. That being said, you want to make sure your rum buzz remains nothing more than a buzz, because all it takes is one ration too much and you’re having a bad night (and morning after).
Just think of rum like fireworks – these can be fun if used responsible, or I could sustain a significant physical injury if not.
Red Wine: the best type of buzz
When you’re aware of the health benefits of red wine, it eases your thoughts as you sip away glass after glass of grown up juice. Wine drunk is widely considered the best type of drunk, because of how peaceful, yet entertaining it can make you. Immediately you have the pizzazz of a co-host on a roundtable TV talk show.
It gently carries you to a relaxed state of intoxication that’s like, I might make a bad decision and text my ex, but at least I’m getting all these antioxidants.