Entertainment The Best Billy Madison Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
588 votes 123 voters 17.2k views 12 items
In honor of it's 20th birthday, we're letting you vote on the best Billy Madison quotes for this list. Arguably Adam Sandler's best movie to date, Billy Madison is one of the most quotable comedy movies of all time. Sure, the dialogue is immature, silly, and riddled with toilet humor, but that's part of the reason why we love it so much. The cast of characters in Billy Madison is amazing, with supporting roles from comedy legends like Norm Macdonald and the late Chris Farley as the psychotic bus driver. Vote below for your favorite lines from Billy Madison, and if we're missing one, let us know in the comments so we can add it.
1 65 VOTES
Shampoo Is Better
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Video: YouTube
Billy: [in the bath tub] Shampoo is better! I go on first, and clean the hair!
[switches voices]
Billy: Conditioner is better, I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh really fool? Really!
50 15
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2 60 VOTES
If Peeing Your Pants Is Cool...
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Video: YouTube
3rd Grader: Hey, look everybody! Billy peed his pants!
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants! Everyone my age pees their pants; it's the coolest!
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES! You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey, look! Ernie peed his pants, too. All right!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: Oh! That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
47 13
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3 67 VOTES
That Veronica Vaughn Is One Fine Piece Of Ace
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Video: YouTube
Bus Driver: Get on the bus here. Move it. Get up there. Kyle. 1, 2, 5, 7. Move it or lose it. Get on the bu-. Hi, Ms. Vaughn nice to see ya.
[talking to Billy]
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience, if you know what I mean.
Billy Madison: No you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know ... him and her got. it. on! 
Billy Madison: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, right? Huh? Huh?
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4 53 VOTES
T-t-t-today Junior!
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Video: YouTube
Dan: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl ...who wa-a-an-
Billy Madison: Pffft! Kid can't even read.
Ernie: Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.
Dan: An air-air-air-p-p-p-p-plane f-f-flying t-t-t ...
Billy Madison: T-t-t-today, Junior!
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