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The Best Chef Quotes From 'South Park'

March 4, 2020 488 votes 59 voters 2.4k views25 items

The best quotes from Chef show why he was one of the first characters to capture the hearts of millions on South Park. When he wasn't dishing out lunch to the children, he was there to impart real worlds of wisdom. Whereas teachers and guidance counselors fell short, Chef actually gave pretty good advice up until the character was written off. But at least we have the memories as well as this list of the best Chef quotes of all time.

One of Chef's best parting words of wisdom came when he told the boys all about drugs by saying, "This is all I'm going to say about drugs: Stay away from them! There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college." But Chef was knowledgeable about far more than just that. He also gave the kids a lesson in the birds and bees with, "It's very simple, children. The right time to start having sex is 17."

There are plenty of funny Chef quotes to choose from. But which ones do you think deserve a golden salty chocolate ball? Vote up your favorite Chef quotes.

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  • 1

    Hello There

    Chef: Hello there, children!

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  • 2

    It's Called College

    Chef: This is all I'm going to say about drugs: Stay away from them! There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college.

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  • 3

    From Your *ss

    Kyle: Chef, do you know where "sh*t" comes from?

    Chef: Uh, from your a**, children.

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  • 4

    Nice Day Isn't It?

    Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?

    Chef: Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here you've got to be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering? "Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef? How come they call it a rim job, Chef?". For once, can't you kids come in here and say "Hey Chef, nice day isn't it?"

    Stan: Hey Chef, nice day isn't it?

    Chef: It sure is, thank you.

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