National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is quite possibly the best Christmas movie of all time. Sure, there are other classics, but few have the distinction of being such an incredibly quotable film. Rich with turns of phrase about "the sh*tter," Tylenol, dump trucks, and other holiday merriment, Christmas Vacation is John Hughes, screenwriter for the ages, at his finest.
What are the best lines in Christmas Vacation? How does a fan even decide? Sure, Clark (Chevy Chase) and Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) carry the film, but maybe you feel a strong affinity for Aunt Bethany and Uncle Lewis, or even find yourself partial to the select few zingers thrown about by Juliette Lewis as over-it teen Audrey Griswold. The good news is there are no wrong answers, and all funny Christmas Vacation quotes are deserving of your votes.
Why is the carpet all wet? Is Rusty still in the Navy? Have you saved the neck for Eddie? Help rank the funniest quotes from Christmas Vacation below by voting up the lines you repeat to patient friends and family members all year long.
It's a funny, squeaky sound.Aunt Bethany
Get me somebody, anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.Frank Shirley
I don't want to spend the holidays DEAD!Ellen Griswold
We're not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we, Dad?Audrey Griswold
Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!Clark Griswold
And it's about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs… and your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip…
Clark, were stuck under a truck!Ellen Griswold
Your grandma's got a real painful bur on her heel. If you rub it for me, I'll give you a whole quarter!Grandma Griswold
It was an ugly tree anyway.Art
Is this the airport, Clark?Aunt Bethany