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The Greatest Dale Gribble Quotes From 'King of the Hill'

Dale Gribble is Hank Hill's next door neighbor, but he's also a paranoid conspiracy nut who's willing to share the truth with you, even if you really don't want to hear it. Here is a list of the greatest Dale Gribble quotes of all time, ranked by your votes.

Showing off is not one of Dales setbacks. He's always ready to prove he's on another level than you with quotes like, "I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny." Instead of coffee or tea to stay up all night, Dale finds comfort in soda - "Boil up some Mountain Dew; it's gonna be a long night." Dale Gribble quotes rarely seem to make sense, but that's honestly why we love them so much in the first place.

Vote up your favorite Dale Gribble quotes below, no matter what episode or season they are from, and try not to get pocket sand thrown in your eyes in the process.

  • 9
    33 VOTES


    Dale Gribble: "That makes a whole lot of sense... A whole lot of nonsense!"

    Agree or disagree?
  • 10
    61 VOTES

    These People Are Nuts

    Dale Gribble: We gotta get out of here. The smoking breaks are too short, the food is good at best and the anti-depressants are making my mouth dry and happy.

    Bill raises his hand.

    Bill  Dauterive: (shouting) Can I get some glitter please?

    Bill  Dauterive: Why don't we just call Hank?

    Dale Gribble: No. Hank must never know we were in here. Our society stigmatizes the mentally ill... and rightfully so, these people are nuts!

    Agree or disagree?
  • 11
    93 VOTES

    Washington Lobbist

    [Dale is wearing a suit for Halloween.]

    Dale Gribble: Booooo! I am a high-priced Washington lobbyist, peddling influence! Who wants candy?

    Agree or disagree?
  • 12
    27 VOTES

    Some Party Poop

    [Hank walks in the room with a food dish.]

    Dale Gribble: Whatd'ya got under the foil, Mr. Party Pooper, some party poop?

    Agree or disagree?