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The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'

Updated June 14, 2019 8.0k votes 963 voters 39.6k views20 items

List RulesVote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire 'Deadpool' franchise.

One of the funniest aspects of the Deadpool movie has to be the numerous insults thrown from one character to another. The movie is chock-full of amazing one-liners ranging from the disturbingly clever to the just plain wrong, but that's why we love it!

There were so many amazing insults and funny lines from Deadpool that made it into the final cut, there were even a bunch that fell to the cutting-room floor. Those aren't going to pop up into this list, though, simply due to the fact that enough gems made it through to become the best insults in the movie. Seeing as he breaks the fourth wall all the time, it's perfectly natural to imagine Ryan Reynolds's Deadpool is saying these directly to you as you read them.

From quick one-liners to hilarious quotes, check them all out below, and vote up the ones you find most clever, mean, or ultimately insulting!

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  • 1
    548
    66

    Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-f*cked a topographical map of Utah.

    Weasel, Deadpool
  • 2
    530
    72

    If I ever decide to become a crime-fighting sh*t swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at Neverland Mansion with some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherf*cker... on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 3
    554
    81

    You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado.

    Weasel, Deadpool
  • 4
    460
    61

    I want to die a natural death at the age of 102 - like the city of Detroit.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 5
    367
    42

    How tough can he be with a name like Francis?

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 6
    443
    68

    Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 7
    377
    50

    Use seltzer water and lemon juice for blood. Or wear red, dumbass!

    Blind Al, Deadpool
  • 8
    395
    59

    How can I help you... besides luring children into a panel van?

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 9
    409
    72

    You're about to be killed by a zamboni.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 10
    302
    43

    Which benefits? The matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years?

    Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool
  • 11
    286
    38

    Sure, I may be stuck looking like pepperoni flatbread, but at least f*ckface won't heal from that.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 12
    349
    66

    Say the magic words, Fat Gandolf!

    Vanessa Carlysle, Deadpool
  • 13
    283
    47

    Sir, what does Miss Mama June taste like? Like two hobos f*cking in a shoe filled with piss.

    Wade Wilson,
  • 14
    226
    52

    It reeks like old lady pants in here.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 15
    265
    75

    I will shoot your f*cking cat!

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 16
    229
    61

    F*ck, you're old.

    Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool
  • 17
    194
    88

    Suck a c*ck

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 18
    169
    73

    You little spider-monkey!

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 19
    162
    68

    Get it through your head or get out of f*ck town!

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 20
    144
    107

    You. A dishonorable discharge. Hip-deep in hookers. You're nothing.

    Francis "Ajax", Deadpool