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The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'

Updated June 14, 2019 7.0k votes 836 voters 34.7k views20 items

List RulesVote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire 'Deadpool' franchise.

One of the funniest aspects of the Deadpool movie has to be the numerous insults thrown from one character to another. The movie is chock-full of amazing one-liners ranging from the disturbingly clever to the just plain wrong, but that's why we love it!

There were so many amazing insults and funny lines from Deadpool that made it into the final cut, there were even a bunch that fell to the cutting-room floor. Those aren't going to pop up into this list, though, simply due to the fact that enough gems made it through to become the best insults in the movie. Seeing as he breaks the fourth wall all the time, it's perfectly natural to imagine Ryan Reynolds's Deadpool is saying these directly to you as you read them.

From quick one-liners to hilarious quotes, check them all out below, and vote up the ones you find most clever, mean, or ultimately insulting!

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  • 1
    Star in your own horror films. is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    481
    49

    Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-f*cked a topographical map of Utah.

    Weasel, Deadpool
  • 2
    You look like an avocado had s is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    482
    64

    You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado.

    Weasel, Deadpool
  • 3
    If I ever decide to become a c is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    461
    66

    If I ever decide to become a crime-fighting sh*t swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at Neverland Mansion with some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherf*cker... on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 4
    I want to die a natural death  is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    396
    62

    I want to die a natural death at the age of 102 - like the city of Detroit.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 5
    Use seltzer water and lemon ju is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    332
    43

    Use seltzer water and lemon juice for blood. Or wear red, dumbass!

    Blind Al, Deadpool
  • 6
    How tough can he be with a nam is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
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    37

    How tough can he be with a name like Francis?

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 7
    Oh, I so pity the dude who pre is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    379
    68

    Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 8
    How can I help you... besides  is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    343
    58

    How can I help you... besides luring children into a panel van?

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 9
    You're about to be killed  is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    361
    68

    You're about to be killed by a zamboni.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 10
    Which benefits? The matching u is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    263
    39

    Which benefits? The matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years?

    Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool
  • 11
    Sure, I may be stuck looking l is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    250
    36

    Sure, I may be stuck looking like pepperoni flatbread, but at least f*ckface won't heal from that.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 12
    Say the magic words, Fat Gando is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    314
    63

    Say the magic words, Fat Gandolf!

    Vanessa Carlysle, Deadpool
  • 13
    Sir, what does Miss Mama June  is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    258
    47

    Sir, what does Miss Mama June taste like? Like two hobos f*cking in a shoe filled with piss.

    Wade Wilson,
  • 14
    I will shoot your f*cking cat! is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    241
    67

    I will shoot your f*cking cat!

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 15
    It reeks like old lady pants i is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    202
    48

    It reeks like old lady pants in here.

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 16
    F*ck, you're old. is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    202
    58

    F*ck, you're old.

    Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool
  • 17
    Suck a c*ck is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    167
    80

    Suck a c*ck

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 18
    You little spider-monkey! is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    145
    67

    You little spider-monkey!

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 19
    Get it through your head or ge is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    139
    65

    Get it through your head or get out of f*ck town!

    Wade Wilson, Deadpool
  • 20
    You. A dishonorable discharge. is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
    122
    100

    You. A dishonorable discharge. Hip-deep in hookers. You're nothing.

    Francis "Ajax", Deadpool
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