Total Nerd The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'  

Ranker Comics
1.5k votes 226 voters 7.1k views 20 items

List Rules Vote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire 'Deadpool' franchise.

One of the funniest aspects of the Deadpool movie has to be the numerous insults thrown from one character to another. The movie is chock-full of amazing one-liners ranging from the disturbingly clever to the just plain wrong, but that's why we love it!

There were so many amazing insults and funny lines from Deadpool that made it into the final cut, there were even a bunch that fell to the cutting-room floor. Those aren't going to pop up into this list, though, simply due to the fact that enough gems made it through to become the best insults in the movie. Seeing as he breaks the fourth wall all the time, it's perfectly natural to imagine Ryan Reynolds's Deadpool is saying these directly to you as you read them.

From quick one-liners to hilarious quotes, check them all out below, and vote up the ones you find most clever, mean, or ultimately insulting!

list ordered by

1
91 16
If I ever decide to become a c... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
If I ever decide to become a crime-fighting sh*t swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at Neverland Mansion with some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherf*cker... on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request. Wade Wilson, Deadpool

2
77 12
How can I help you... besides ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
How can I help you... besides luring children into a panel van? Wade Wilson, Deadpool

3
93 19
You look like an avocado had s... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. Weasel, Deadpool

4
74 12
Star in your own horror films.... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-f*cked a topographical map of Utah. Weasel, Deadpool

5
86 17
I want to die a natural death ... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
I want to die a natural death at the age of 102 - like the city of Detroit. Wade Wilson, Deadpool

6
76 18
Oh, I so pity the dude who pre... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex. Wade Wilson, Deadpool

7
56 11
Sir, what does Miss Mama June ... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Sir, what does Miss Mama June taste like? Like two hobos f*cking in a shoe filled with piss. Wade Wilson, Deadpool

8
72 22
You're about to be killed ... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
You're about to be killed by a zamboni. Wade Wilson, Deadpool

9
72 22
I will shoot your f*cking cat! is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
I will shoot your f*cking cat! Wade Wilson, Deadpool

10
54 11
Which benefits? The matching u... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Which benefits? The matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years? Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool

11
66 20
Say the magic words, Fat Gando... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Say the magic words, Fat Gandolf! Vanessa Carlysle, Deadpool

12
57 16
Sure, I may be stuck looking l... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Sure, I may be stuck looking like pepperoni flatbread, but at least f*ckface won't heal from that. Wade Wilson, Deadpool

13
51 13
How tough can he be with a nam... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
How tough can he be with a name like Francis? Wade Wilson, Deadpool

14
51 14
Use seltzer water and lemon ju... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Use seltzer water and lemon juice for blood. Or wear red, dumbass! Blind Al, Deadpool

15
37 15
It reeks like old lady pants i... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
It reeks like old lady pants in here. Wade Wilson, Deadpool

16
44 21
Suck a c*ck is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Suck a c*ck Wade Wilson, Deadpool

17
41 19
F*ck, you're old. is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
F*ck, you're old. Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool

18
31 17
Get it through your head or ge... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
Get it through your head or get out of f*ck town! Wade Wilson, Deadpool

19
33 21
You little spider-monkey! is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
You little spider-monkey! Wade Wilson, Deadpool

20
33 25
You. A dishonorable discharge.... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Insults From 'Deadpool'
You. A dishonorable discharge. Hip-deep in hookers. You're nothing. Francis "Ajax", Deadpool