276 voters

The Greatest Dr. Zoidberg Quotes From Futurama

Updated August 8, 2019 2.2k votes 276 voters 14.6k views26 items

Despite the fact that he's perpetually broke and smells like garbage, Dr. Zoidberg is still a fan favorite on Futurama and delivers some of the show's best lines that'll have you in stitches. It's time to stop asking "why not Zoidberg?" and finally rank the funniest quotes from Planet Express's resident doctor. Here are the best Dr. Zoidberg quotes of all time, ranked by your votes.

Although he's portrayed as being incompetent, Zoidberg still carries himself like he's a world class doctor, with lines like: "I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated." When it comes to the most popular Zoidberg quote, the one that first comes to mind is, "your music is bad and you should feel bad!"

Vote up your favorite Dr. Zoidberg quotes below, no matter what episode or season they are from. They don't necessarily have to be funny Zoidberg quotes, since he has some sentimental moments on the show.

  • 1

    My Mother Was A SAINT!

    Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain.

    [Fry opens his mouth]

    Zoidberg: No, no, not that mouth.

    Fry: I only have one.

    Zoidberg: Really?

    Fry: Uh... is there a human doctor around?

    Zoidberg: Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say "Bbrglgrglgrrr"!

    Fry: Uh... yededededededede!

    Zoidberg: What?! My mother was a SAINT! GET OUT!!!

    Love this quote?
  • 2

    Your Music Is Bad

    Hedonismbot: Less reality, more fantasy. Resume the opera!

    Fry: But I can't play anymore!

    Zoidberg: Yes you can! The music was in your heart, not your hands!

    [Fry begins playing off-key and the audience starts booing.]

    Zoidberg: Your music is bad and you should feel bad!

    Love this quote?
  • 3

    My Name Is

    Clamps: Hey, scuttle on home. Dis ain't none of your business, slick.

    Zoidberg: My name isn't Slick, it's Zoidberg. JOHN (beep)ing ZOIDBERG!

    Love this quote?
  • 4

    Lost More Patients

    Dr. Zoidberg: I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated.

    Love this quote?