Season after season, funny stories from Drunk History pile up, emanating a boozy cloud of comedy and leaving behind a trail of historical nuggets. But which are your favorite? It’s a difficult task deciding which are the best Drunk History stories when each episode is packed full of talent who throw themselves face first into the burp-riddled stories of the ages.
Which is your favorite Drunk History retelling? Crissle West regaling the heroism of dope-ass spy Harriet Tubman? Jen Kirkman making Winona Ryder as Mary Dyer curse her way around 1600s Boston? Bill Hader performing as Jenny Slate narrates the story of Coca Cola? How about that time Bob Woodward threw up on Deep Throat’s shoes? And we know what a tool James Cook was, but Jonah Ray gives him some extra tooliness as he slurs his way to Hawaii to terrorize King Kalaniopuu. These episodes had some great moments.
But are these stories told by writers, comedians, and actors who are completely drunk off their asses accurate, you’re probably not asking? Psshaw! If you’re getting your historical information from Drunk History, you’re probably going to be just fine, unless you’re trying to pass a test or something.
Drunk History’s version of Lewis and Clark should be taught in school. Not because it’s accurate, but more because Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark OMG hard throughout the retelling, making it relatable. After all, isn’t that what history is supposed to about? OMGing hard?
What are the best Drunk History stories so far? Vote them up with a rousing, pantsless HUZZAH and BLEEP!
Wasted Crissle West Slam Drunks the Harriet Tubman Spy Story
West is so hilarious at retelling the story of Tubman’s work as a Union spy, Derek Waters and Jeremy Konner thought it was worthy of casting Octavia Spencer. To see the Oscar winner mouth West’s drunken recounting makes this one of the best episodes of Drunk History. “I got this sh*t!”
Jenny Slate’s Dog Makes It Into the Story of Coca-Cola
Bill Hader performs to Slate’s narration of John Pemberton inventing Coca-Cola and it’s just as charming and nuts as it sounds. Pemberton wanted to invent a tonic that would make women think “that they’ll never be nervous or have farts and make men think that they can be smarter.” Experimenting with the cocoa leaf, Pemberton ended up creating essentially cocaine wine, which Slate really doesn’t need. She does wonders just with regular wine. What makes this story excellent is Slate’s incessantly barking dog during her drunk interview. The editors decided to put the dog’s bark into the piece, giving the “line” to Derek Waters.
A Glazed Amber Ruffin Reveals That Rosa Parks Had a Predecessor, BUUUUURRP!
Ruffin tells the story of Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl who was the first African-American to refuse to give her seat to a white person before Rosa Parks did. Ruffin boozily gets the story out with accuracy but not before she makes the judge in the segregation case burp, twice. She also gives some extra sass to Mariah Wilson’s Claudette Colvin, who drops the mic after winning her case and then talks to her cup, 55 years later.
Duncan Trussell Sh*ts on Edison
And it’s glorious. Chris Parnell plays Edison whom Trussell calls a "greedy, reptilian sh*tbag" for ripping off everyone’s inventions, particularly the kinetoscope. Edison also creates a trust to block others from making films outside his film monopoly. Carl Laemmle (Michael McKean) sees Edison’s crappy cat-boxing videos and decides to make better quality films and is sued by Edison 284 times. Laemmle, William Fox, and Adolf Zukor decide to head to Los Angeles to make their films, leaving Edison in the dust when it came to the film business.