Sex, like Oreos and Beyonce videos, is something many people like to experience all the time, but sometimes the mood just isn't there. While a simple "no thanks" should be sufficient reasoning for any partner, you might also want to get creative with your excuses to avoid sex. The best lies for avoiding sex reflect the circumstances of your situation and partner: are you talking to someone you share a promise ring and an HBO Go account with or the guy from the club who slid into your Uber without asking? These factors play into which excuses sound the most appropriate when you don't want to have sex.
Peruse the excuses below for ideas on getting out of hooking up and getting that rogue Uber passenger back to his futon. To cover all the bases, included below are religious, dietary, and even aesthetic excuses for escaping sex. If you play it right, these excuses to avoid sex will finish that conversation faster some men finish in the bedroom.
"I'm On My Period."
"I'm Just So Tired."
"I'm Not In The Mood."
"I Have A Headache."
"My Parents Will Hear Us."
"I'm Still Getting Used To My New Birth Control."
"I'm Going Through A Lot Right Now."
"I Have To Be Up Early Tomorrow."
"I Think I Have A Yeast Infection."
"This Bench Is Too Public."
*Cough Cough* "I'm Sick"
"I Haven't Shaved."
"I Have A Partner Already."
"I Just Got Out Of A Big Relationship."
"I Didn't Shower Today."
"I'm A Virgin."
"I Dont Want To Ruin This Relationship."
"I'm Too Full."
"My Religion Forbids It."
"We Might Wake Up The Kids."
"My Penis Is Broken."
"I Worked Too Hard Today."