VOTE What's The Best Excuse To Avoid Sex When You're Just Not DTF?  

Mick Jacobs
1.4k votes 135 voters 5.2k views 53 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the excuses that will ruin the vibe but not your good name.

Sex, like Oreos and Beyonce videos, is a thing people prefer to have all the time, but sometimes the mood ain't there and you need excuses to avoid sex. The best lies for avoiding sex must also reflect the circumstances of your situation and partner. Are you talking to someone you share a promise ring and an HBO Go account with, or the guy from the club who slid into your Uber without asking? All these factors play into which excuses will work when you don't want to have sex.

Peruse the excuses below for some of the best excuses to get out of hooking up and getting that rogue Uber passenger back to his futon. To cover all the bases, included below are religious, dietary, and even aesthetic excuses for escaping sex. If you play it right, these excuses to avoid sex will finish that conversation faster than a man finishes in the bedroom.

1
38 13
"I'm On My Period."

Professional Wrestlers Who Died Young The Hardest Languages to Learn

2
30 11
"I Think I Have A Yeast Infection."

3
22 10
"I'm Not In The Mood."

4
26 15
"This Bench Is Too Public."

5
21 11
*Cough Cough* "I'm Sick"

6
25 16
"I Didn't Shower Today."

7
25 16
"But I Am Le Tired."

8
24 15
"I Ate Taco Bell Today."

9
22 16
"I'm Too Full."

10
20 14
"We Might Wake Up The Kids."

11
20 15
"I Have A Partner Already."

12
15 10
"Cold Sore!"

13
17 13
"I'm Drunk."

14
16 12
"I'm Constipated."

15
19 16
"I'm Having An Outbreak Down There."

The 20 Most Epic Wedding FAILs of All Time Easter Eggs From Every Marvel Movie

16
15 12
"I'm Still Getting Used To My New Birth Control."

17
13 12
"I Have To Be Up Early Tomorrow."

18
17 17
"I Worked Too Hard Today."

19
10 11
"My Parents Will Hear Us."

20
16 19
"I Haven't Shaved."

21
13 16
"My Religion Forbids It."

22
13 16
*Snores*

23
11 15
"I Have A Headache."

24
11 16
"I Just Took A Shower."

25
6 12
"My Roommate Is Home."

26
8 15
"I'm A Virgin."

27
7 14
"I Just Got Out Of A Big Relationship."

28
9 17
"My Penis Is Broken."

29
9 17
"The Last Time Wore Me Out."

The 13 Sexiest Psycho Girlfriends in Internet History Things You Should Know How to Do Before You Turn 30

30
11 20
"I Masturbated Too Much Today."

31
10 19
"I'm Going Through A Lot Right Now."

32
7 15
"Your Car Isn't Big Enough."

33
10 20
"This Edible Is Too Strong."

34
5 13
"Wait, The Latest Game Of Thrones Episode Is On HBO."

35
7 16
"The Walls Are Thin And My Neighbor Is Judgy."

36
6 15
"I Would Rather Wait Till We Go To Yours."

37
7 17
"My Medication Makes Me Loopy."

38
3 12
"Not On The Sabbath."

39
7 18
"I Can't Knowing There's A Dog In The Other Room."

40
6 18
"I'm Sleepwalking."

41
5 17
"I Haven't Eaten Yet."

42
5 17
"I Haven't Had My Coffee Yet."

43
3 13
"I Lost My Mojo."

The Funniest Business Names in The Simpsons The Sexiest Howard Stern Show Regulars

44
5 18
"I Exercised Too Much Today."

45
5 18
"Let's Wait 'Til I Get My Toys."

46
2 11
"I Can't Get To Yours Anytime Soon."

47
4 17
"I Need To Go Charge My Phone."

48
4 17
"I'm Not Wearing The Proper Crystals."

49
2 12
"I Have An Appointment Soon."

50
2 12
"I Literally Just Can't Even, You Know...?"