VOTE What's The Best Excuse To Avoid Sex When You're Just Not DTF?  

Mick Jacobs
3.8k votes 420 voters 12k views 55 items

List Rules Vote up the excuses that will ruin the vibe but not your good name.

Sex, like Oreos and Beyonce videos, is a thing people prefer to have all the time, but sometimes the mood ain't there and you need excuses to avoid sex. The best lies for avoiding sex must also reflect the circumstances of your situation and partner. Are you talking to someone you share a promise ring and an HBO Go account with, or the guy from the club who slid into your Uber without asking? All these factors play into which excuses will work when you don't want to have sex.

Peruse the excuses below for some of the best excuses to get out of hooking up and getting that rogue Uber passenger back to his futon. To cover all the bases, included below are religious, dietary, and even aesthetic excuses for escaping sex. If you play it right, these excuses to avoid sex will finish that conversation faster some men finish in the bedroom.

list ordered by

1
138 44
"I'm On My Period."

2
86 37
"I'm Not In The Mood."

3
78 41
"But I Am Le Tired."

4
72 44
*Cough Cough* "I'm Sick"

5
83 60
"I Think I Have A Yeast Infection."

6
51 30
"I Have A Headache."

7
52 34
"I Have To Be Up Early Tomorrow."

8
54 38
"We Might Wake Up The Kids."

9
62 49
"I Haven't Shaved."

10
42 30
"My Parents Will Hear Us."

11
46 37
"I'm Still Getting Used To My New Birth Control."

12
49 42
"I Have A Partner Already."

13
40 32
"I'm Going Through A Lot Right Now."

14
55 51
"This Bench Is Too Public."

15
55 51
"I Didn't Shower Today."

16
44 42
"I'm Too Full."

17
33 31
"I'm Constipated."

18
38 43
"I'm A Virgin."

19
40 47
"I'm Having An Outbreak Down There."

20
44 53
"I Ate Taco Bell Today."

21
33 38
"I'm Drunk."

22
5 1
Joe Bennett added "I dont Want To Ruin This Relationship."

23
30 39
"I Worked Too Hard Today."

24
29 40
*Snores*

25
29 42
"My Religion Forbids It."