The Best Stewie Episodes of 'Family Guy'

Brian and Stewie travel through alternate universes thanks to an out-of-this-world remote control - including a world run by dogs where humans are pets, and a post-apocalyptic world. Stewie wants to leave this world, but Brian wants to stay. They fight over the remote control, breaking it in the process. The find their doppelgangers in this alternative universe and the dog version of Stewie reveals he developed his own device to help with the situation.

Memorable Quotes:

Stewie: Oh, God, let's go, quick! Here comes an overweight cat with dollar signs for eyes and a hat that says "Social Security" pouring a bucket that says "Alternative Minimum Tax" over a sad Statue of Liberty holding a "Democracy" umbrella!

Brian: Okay, I'm a new neighbor, and you're my pet human, Hotchkis, got it?
Stewie: [stammers] I'm not so crazy about "Hotchkis" anymore.
Brian: What do you mean? You came up with Hotchkis.
Stewie: Eh, I know, but how about Axel or Maximillian or Dex? You know, it's gotta have an "x" in it 'cause that means I have cool parents who take me on expensive ski trips on spring break and I get to drink wine with dinner even though I'm only 14.

Stewie: You ever heard of the multiverse theory, Brian.
Brian: Of course I have. But I'm wondering if you have.Stewie: Oh my God, so transparent. The theory states that there are an infinite amount of universes coexisted with ours on parallel dimensional planes.
Brian: The dimensional planes, right.
Stewie: Oh, don't do that. Don't...don't repeat the last two words like you already kinda knew what I was talking about. You have no idea what I'm talking about.

Brian and Stewie try to hatch an escape plan after they are locked in a bank vault; includes fan-favorite and previously unseen musical numbers. Their dilemma plays out in real time as they figure out how to escape. They also pass the time by getting drunk, discussing gun control, and analyzing Cesar Millan's philosophy about dogs.

Memorable Quotes:

Stewie: I like you lot. I guess you could say I... really like you. I would... even dare to go a little further, perhaps. I... care a great deal about you. Very great deal. Maybe even... deeper than that. I... I... I love you. I mean, you know, not in like a, "Hey, let's, you know, let's have an underpants party," or whatever grownups do when they're in love, but I mean, I mean, I love you as one loves another person whom one simply cannot do without.
Brian: Well I... I love you, too, Stewie.
Stewie: You give my life purpose, and maybe, maybe that's enough. Because that's just about the greatest gift one friend can give another.

Stewie: I'm uncomfortable, You have to change me.
Brian: I'm not changing you, we don't even have any diapers. Oh God, that smell is making me sick!
Stewie: Oh, thanks for making me feel more self-conscious. I can't stay like this tomorrow you know!

When Brian points out that Stewie has never followed through with any of his plans to hurt Lois, Stewie, disappointed in himself, resolves to prove Brian wrong. Stewie follows through on his mission, but things get complicated when Peter is arrested for Lois' murder. Further twists emerge when Lois – still alive – reveals that it was Stewie who meant to take her life. Later, Stewie reveals the truth behind the entire incident.

Memorable Quotes:

Stewie Griffin: You know, Meg has really flourished since Lois was murdered.
Brian Griffin: What are you talking about? Lois' death was an accident.
Stewie Griffin: Which is what someone who pulled the perfect murder would want you to think.

Stewie: Farewell, Brian, I'm off to sea. An hour from now, I'll be surrounded by seamen; sperm whales and seamen. Oooh, a swallow.

Stewie starts hitting the gym with Peter after Joe's infant daughter beats him up. A trainer offers Stewie steroids and he quickly develops huge muscles and a lot of aggression which is mostly directed at Brian. When Stewie stops taking the drugs, Brian seeks revenge.

Memorabe Quotes:

Peter: My baby boy got beat up by a girl!
Stewie: What was weird was that she was crying, but the way she was standing over me made it look like I was crying, which was weird.

Stewie: [singing] I got veins. They carry blood all over my baddy [Stops singing]. That's how John Mayer would say it. Baddy. I'm really into him right now. You'd better be okay with it!

Brian: Stewie, you look gross. You look like Lou Ferrigno's poop!
Stewie: I look like a guy who's been hitting the gym!
Brian: It has nothing to do with the gym, you're on drugs!
Stewie: It doesn't matter how you find the pot of gold, B to the rian. All that matters is that you beat the leprechauns.
Brian: That doesn't make any sense.
Stewie: It doesn't have to make sense when you look like this!

It's Home Alone meets Planes, Trains and Automobiles in this hilarious episode. When Peter wins a year of unlimited gas, the Griffins go on a road trip to the Grand Canyon, but Stewie gets left behind. Cleveland and Quagmire attempt to check on Stewie, but the youngest Griffin mistakes them for intruders.

Memorable Quotes:

Meg: Yeah, that's a great idea, Mom! Hey, maybe we can go to the island from Lost.
Stewie: No, I don't wanna listen to Matthew Fox's heavy breathing.

Stewie: Mummy, Daddy, Chris, Dog, Brian! They're home!

When Stewie plays at the park with Rupert. a dog grabs Rupert from him and tears it to shreds. Lois runs after the dog, retrieves Rupert, and repairs him, causing Stewie to rethink all the bad thoughts he has had of Lois, eventually becoming enamored with her. Stewie's love becomes overbearing and Lois begins to ignore him, but Stewie falls down the stairs. Lois apologizes, but Stewie has reverted back to his prior mode of hating her.

Memorable Quotes:

Stewie: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: WHAT!
Stewie: Hi.

Brian: Stewie loves Lois!
Stewie: Brian loves Olympia Dukakis!
Brian: Oh yeah, I do.

Stewie: I have so much fun when we hang out, Lois. And I love your hair. We should make up a name for your hair color. We could call it, like, like, "Strawberry Sunset" or "Ginger Maiden". Or one of those hair-color names that's a random noun like, "Temptress". Oh, at some point you have to let me braid it.