The Best George Costanza Quotes

Welcome to the ultimate list of George Costanza quotes from Seinfeld, voted and ranked by our TV fans. As one of the most iconic characters in television history, George's neurotic personality and hilarious antics have left us in stitches for years. From his obsession with food to his endless string of failed relationships, there's no denying that George is a fan favorite.

But what makes these quotes so memorable? Perhaps it's the way he delivers them with such conviction or maybe it's because we can all relate to his struggles on some level. Whether you're a die-hard Seinfeld fan or just looking for a good laugh, this list has something for everyone.

As you scroll through these timeless gems, you'll be reminded why Seinfeld remains one of the greatest comedies of all time. So sit back, relax, and prepare to relive some of George's most unforgettable moments.

But wait – there's more. Be sure to vote up your favorites on this list and let us know which ones had you laughing out loud. Without further ado, let's dive into the best George Costanza quotes in Seinfeld history.

  • 1
    199 VOTES

    The Sea Was Angry That Day My Friends

    The Sea Was Angry That Day My Friends
    Video: YouTube

    "So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on...and as I made my way past the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you, Jerry, at that moment - I was a Marine Biologist! The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli! I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, 'Easy big fella!"' And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!"

    Season 5, Episode 14- The Marine Biologist 
    199 votes
  • 2
    157 VOTES

    It's Not A Lie If You Believe It

    It's Not A Lie If You Believe It
    Video: YouTube

    "Jerry, just remember...It's not a lie if you believe."

    Season 6, Episode 15- The Beard
    157 votes
  • 3
    139 VOTES


    "Look, you don't understand. There was shrinkage."

    Season 5, Episode 20- The Hamptons
    139 votes
  • 4
    122 VOTES

    George on Lesbians

    "I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual'"

    Season 3, Episode 13- The Subway
    122 votes
  • 5
    89 VOTES

    George the Architect

    "Why couldn't you make me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect."

    Season 5, Episode 14- The Marine Biologist
    89 votes
  • 6
    106 VOTES

    It's Not You, It's Me

    It's Not You, It's Me
    Video: YouTube

    "You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."

    Season 5, Episode 6- The Lip Reader
    106 votes