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The Best George Costanza Quotes In Seinfeld History

To celebrate the most inadequate man in television history, here are the best George Costanza quotes in the history of Seinfeld. Videos of each scene are included when available, so you can watch George Costanza's greatest hits right here on this page. We've also noted what season and episode each quote is from, just in case you want to watch the entire episode. From "shrinkage" to "jerk store," these truly are the best and funniest George Costanza lines of all time.

George, brilliantly played by Jason Alexander, easily had some of the most memorable moments from Seinfeld, so honor him by voting for your absolute favorite lines. Are we missing one of Costanza's greatest quotes? Tweet us and there's a good chance it'll get added to the list.

  • 1
    126 VOTES


    "Look, you don't understand. There was shrinkage."

    Season 5, Episode 20- The Hamptons
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  • 2
    142 VOTES

    It's Not A Lie If You Believe It

    Video: YouTube

    "Jerry, just remember...It's not a lie if you believe."

    Season 6, Episode 15- The Beard
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  • 3
    102 VOTES

    George on Lesbians

    "I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual'"

    Season 3, Episode 13- The Subway
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  • 4
    91 VOTES

    It's Not You, It's Me

    Video: YouTube

    "You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."

    Season 5, Episode 6- The Lip Reader
    Should this be higher or lower?