Hank Hill is a clean-cut no-nonsense kind of man who loves his family, his job, and, most importantly, his lawn. Here are the greatest Hank Hill quotes of all time, ranked by your votes.
Hank always feels the need to remind us of what he does for a living, "I provide the people of this community with propane and propane accessories." Some of the funniest Hank Hill quotes come when he has trouble sharing his true feelings with loved ones, like when he says, "Bobby, if you weren't my son I'd hug you." Speaking of his son, another classic Hank quote from King of the Hill is, "That Boy Ain't Right," something that he says multiple times throughout the series.
Vote up your favorite Hank Hill quotes below, no matter what episode or season they're from.
Hank Hill: Whatcha listenin' to, son?
Bobby Hill: I don't think you'd like it.
Hank Hill: Well, why not? I like this new generation of music. [puts headphones on]
Old woman on tape: Hello?
[The tape erupts into sudden flatulence]
Hank Hill: [takes headphones off] Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where did you record this?
Bobby Hill: I bought it at the mall! It's the Funny Phone Jerks!
Hank Hill: Let me tell you, Bobby, there's nothing "funny" about these sounds! What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder. Now you get ready for the game, OK?
Bobby Hill: Yes, sir.
Hank Hill: [leaving Bobby's room] That boy ain't right.
Hank: (Hank realizes he's all alone and sighs. Then he sees Khan starting to build a fence.) Hey Khan. I thought I heard someone mixing concrete.
Khan: Oh, that's right. I'm building fence. Big fence. Eight feet tall between your house and my house.
Hank: Eight feet huh? Yeah, you see Khan, in this neighborhood, side fences have to be 5'6 or under. It's not in the code or anything, it's just something I'm trying to enforce.
Khan: You really want to help me, Hank Hill? You keep your dirty little boy's hands off my innocent genius daughter!
Hank: Now what's that supposed to mean?
Khan: Last night, I catch Bobby half-naked in Connie's room!
Khan: The truth about your little boy not so pretty after all, is it, Hank Hill?! He girl-crazy sex-fiend!
Hank: Well, that boy's gonna get a talking to, I tell ya what!
Hank Hill: How is cutting down on pollution a government plot, Dale?
Dale Gribble: Open up your eyes, man. They're trying to control global warming. Get it? GLO-BAL.
Hank Hill: So what?
Dale Gribble: That's code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what the temperature's going to be in their outdoors. I say let the world warm up, see what Boutros Boutros-Ghali-Ghali thinks about that! We'll grow oranges in Alaska.
Hank Hill: Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas. It's already 110° in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your a**!