Harry Potter

The Best Insults from Harry Potter 

Ranker Film
Updated April 26, 2018 5.8k votes 589 voters 5.8k views 20 items

List Rules Vote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire Harry Potter franchise.

When you think of the Harry Potter franchise, you probably don't think of there being too many insults. The series is all about a young boy triumphing over adversity, but he doesn't get there easily and, along the way, he runs afoul of some nasty people who don't have a problem lobbing insult after insult at Harry and his friends.

Sure, there's the typical calling out of someone as a "Mudblood", but there are many more amazing Harry Potter insults and one-liners thrown around throughout the nine films in the series that deserve some attention. However, the list to follow features the best of the best, so prepare to be insulted like only a Muggle can with these brilliantly funny and clever lines from the Harry Potter franchise!

Have a favorite? Vote up the best insults from the films below, and remember you can down vote any quotes you don't find as funny. 

list ordered by
1
Not my daughter, you bit... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Not my daughter, you bitch! Molly Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2
2
Just because you have th... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have! Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
3
Honestly, Goyle, if you ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Honestly, Goyle, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
4
You! You foul, loathsome... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach! Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
5
The toilet's never had a... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it—it might be sick. Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
6
Well done. So you've fin... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Well done. So you've finally learned the days of the week. Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
7
At least no one on the G... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
8
Yeh'll do wha' yer told.... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Yeh'll do wha' yer told. Or I'll be takin' a leaf outta Professor Moody's book… I hear yeh made a good ferret, Malfoy. Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
9
Longbottom, if brains we... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
10
Weasley's wand causes de... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
11
I've always admired your... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
I've always admired your courage Harry, but sometimes you can be really thick. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
12
Honestly, don't you two ... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Honestly, don't you two read? Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
13
Well, well, Lupin. Out f... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight, are we? Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
14
Weasley would like a sig... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter. It'd be worth more than his whole family's house. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
15
She is nuttier than squi... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
She is nuttier than squirrel poo. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book)
16
This boy has as much cha... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
This boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school. Minerva McGonagall, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
17
Training for the ballet,... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Training for the ballet, Potter? Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
18
If you are wondering wha... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
If you are wondering what that smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
19
Your father was a swine!... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Your father was a swine! Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
20
No one asked your opinio... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood! Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets