Fantasy The Best Insults from Harry Potter  

Ranker Film
2.7k votes 285 voters 2.5k views 20 items

List Rules Vote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire Harry Potter franchise.

When you think of the Harry Potter franchise, you probably don't think of there being too many insults. The series is all about a young boy triumphing over adversity, but he doesn't get there easily and, along the way, he runs afoul of some nasty people who don't have a problem lobbing insult after insult at Harry and his friends.

Sure, there's the typical calling out of someone as a "Mudblood", but there are many more amazing Harry Potter insults and one-liners thrown around throughout the nine films in the series that deserve some attention. However, the list to follow features the best of the best, so prepare to be insulted like only a Muggle can with these brilliantly funny and clever lines from the Harry Potter franchise!

Have a favorite? Vote up the best insults from the films below, and remember you can down vote any quotes you don't find as funny. 

list ordered by

1
173 24
Not my daughter, you bitch! is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Not my daughter, you bitch! Molly Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2

2
150 19
Just because you have the emot... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have! Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

3
149 24
You! You foul, loathsome, evil... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach! Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

4
155 27
Honestly, Goyle, if you were a... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Honestly, Goyle, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

5
131 21
The toilet's never had anythin... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it—it might be sick. Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

6
122 23
Well done. So you've finally l... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Well done. So you've finally learned the days of the week. Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

7
114 24
At least no one on the Gryffin... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

8
109 23
Yeh'll do wha' yer told. Or I'... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Yeh'll do wha' yer told. Or I'll be takin' a leaf outta Professor Moody's book… I hear yeh made a good ferret, Malfoy. Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

9
111 26
Weasley's wand causes devastat... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

10
128 37
Longbottom, if brains were gol... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

11
96 24
I've always admired your coura... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
I've always admired your courage Harry, but sometimes you can be really thick. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

12
93 29
Honestly, don't you two re... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Honestly, don't you two read? Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

13
81 28
This boy has as much chance of... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
This boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school. Minerva McGonagall, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

14
91 35
Well, well, Lupin. Out for a l... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight, are we? Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

15
87 33
She is nuttier than squirrel p... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
She is nuttier than squirrel poo. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book)

16
79 35
Weasley would like a signed ph... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter. It'd be worth more than his whole family's house. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

17
78 42
Training for the ballet, Potte... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Training for the ballet, Potter? Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

18
58 57
If you are wondering what that... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
If you are wondering what that smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

19
53 63
Your father was a swine! is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
Your father was a swine! Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

20
48 70
No one asked your opinion, you... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood! Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets