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The Best Insults from Harry Potter

Updated April 26, 2018 10.5k votes 940 voters 11.2k views20 items

List RulesVote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire Harry Potter franchise.

When you think of the Harry Potter franchise, you probably don't think of there being too many insults. The series is all about a young boy triumphing over adversity, but he doesn't get there easily and, along the way, he runs afoul of some nasty people who don't have a problem lobbing insult after insult at Harry and his friends.

Sure, there's the typical calling out of someone as a "Mudblood", but there are many more amazing Harry Potter insults and one-liners thrown around throughout the nine films in the series that deserve some attention. However, the list to follow features the best of the best, so prepare to be insulted like only a Muggle can with these brilliantly funny and clever lines from the Harry Potter franchise!

Have a favorite? Vote up the best insults from the films below, and remember you can down vote any quotes you don't find as funny. 

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  • 1
    Honestly, Goyle, if you were a is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    690
    76

    Honestly, Goyle, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 2
    Just because you have the emot is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    669
    73

    Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have!

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • 3
    Not my daughter, you bitch! is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    737
    96

    Not my daughter, you bitch!

    Molly Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2
  • 4
    Yeh'll do wha' yer told. Or I' is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    489
    60

    Yeh'll do wha' yer told. Or I'll be takin' a leaf outta Professor Moody's book… I hear yeh made a good ferret, Malfoy.

    Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  • 5
    Well done. So you've finally l is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    497
    68

    Well done. So you've finally learned the days of the week.

    Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 6
    The toilet's never had anythin is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    514
    76

    The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it—it might be sick.

    Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 7
    You! You foul, loathsome, evil is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    559
    90

    You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • 8
    At least no one on the Gryffin is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    494
    74

    At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 9
    Weasley's wand causes devastat is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    438
    75

    Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

    Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 10
    Longbottom, if brains were gol is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    492
    104

    Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 11
    I've always admired your coura is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    383
    80

    I've always admired your courage Harry, but sometimes you can be really thick.

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 12
    Honestly, don't you two re is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    378
    93

    Honestly, don't you two read?

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 13
    Well, well, Lupin. Out for a l is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    352
    106

    Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight, are we?

    Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • 14
    This boy has as much chance of is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    306
    87

    This boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school.

    Minerva McGonagall, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • 15
    Weasley would like a signed ph is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    295
    98

    Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter. It'd be worth more than his whole family's house.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 16
    She is nuttier than squirrel p is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    298
    100

    She is nuttier than squirrel poo.

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book)
  • 17
    Training for the ballet, Potte is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    290
    109

    Training for the ballet, Potter?

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 18
    If you are wondering what that is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    243
    138

    If you are wondering what that smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
  • 19
    Your father was a swine! is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    197
    178

    Your father was a swine!

    Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • 20
    No one asked your opinion, you is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Insults from Harry Potter
    180
    221

    No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
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