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The Best Insults from Harry Potter

Updated February 9, 2021 12.5k votes 1.2k voters 15.7k views21 items

List RulesVote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire Harry Potter franchise.

When you think of the Harry Potter franchise, you probably don't think of there being too many insults. The series is all about a young boy triumphing over adversity, but he doesn't get there easily and, along the way, he runs afoul of some nasty people who don't have a problem lobbing insult after insult at Harry and his friends.

Sure, there's the typical calling out of someone as a "Mudblood", but there are many more amazing Harry Potter insults and one-liners thrown around throughout the nine films in the series that deserve some attention. However, the list to follow features the best of the best, so prepare to be insulted like only a Muggle can with these brilliantly funny and clever lines from the Harry Potter franchise!

Have a favorite? Vote up the best insults from the films below, and remember you can down vote any quotes you don't find as funny. 

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  • 1
    851
    93

    Honestly, Goyle, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 2
    805
    91

    Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have!

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • 3
    933
    124

    Not my daughter, you bitch!

    Molly Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2
  • 4
    605
    83

    Well done. So you've finally learned the days of the week.

    Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 5
    595
    81

    Yeh'll do wha' yer told. Or I'll be takin' a leaf outta Professor Moody's book… I hear yeh made a good ferret, Malfoy.

    Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  • 6
    592
    83

    The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it—it might be sick.

    Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 7
    662
    101

    You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • 8
    590
    87

    At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 9
    602
    107

    Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 10
    513
    85

    Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

    Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 11
    446
    107

    Honestly, don't you two read?

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 12
    435
    103

    I've always admired your courage Harry, but sometimes you can be really thick.

    Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • 13
    420
    124

    Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight, are we?

    Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • 14
    364
    102

    This boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school.

    Minerva McGonagall, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • 15
    348
    109

    She is nuttier than squirrel poo.

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book)
  • 16
    341
    113

    Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter. It'd be worth more than his whole family's house.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 17
    339
    122

    Training for the ballet, Potter?

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 18
    287
    151

    If you are wondering what that smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in.

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
  • 19
    224
    200

    Your father was a swine!

    Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • 20
    215
    248

    No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!

    Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • 21
    7
    4

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