The Best 'Idiocracy' Movie Quotes

From the demented mind of Mike Judge comes Idiocracy, a satire that pits man against moron. There are a ton of funny Idiocracy quotes, some of which are all too real given the path the world is currently on. Joe, Luke Wilson's character, uses an experimental hibernation chamber and wakes up hundred of years into the future where idiots reign supreme. Joe, a man to be considered of average intelligence, is touted as the smartest man alive and must save the world from starvation... or else be killed in a demolition derby. We've rounded up the best quotes from Idiocracy below, so vote up your favorites so the funniest quotes will be at the top.

Idiocracy hit cult status for its many slams against corporate brands and celebration of mediocrity. When we're all drinking sports drinks instead of water in 30 years, just think of the lines you heard in Idiocracy and think about how you knew this was coming.


  • 1
    799 VOTES

    It's Got Electrolytes

    It's Got Electrolytes
    Video: YouTube

    Joe: For the last time, I'm pretty sure what's killing the crops is this Brawndo stuff.
    Secretary of State: But Brawndo's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. 
    Attorney General: So wait a minute. What you're saying is that you want us to put water on the crops. 
    Joe: Yes. 
    Attorney General: Water. Like out the toilet? 
    Joe: Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be out of the toilet, but, yeah, that's the idea. 
    Secretary of State: But Brawndo's got what plants crave. 
    Attorney General: It's got electrolytes. 
    Joe: Okay, look. The plants aren't growing, so I'm pretty sure that the Brawndo's not working. Now, I'm no botanist, but I do know that if you put water on plants, they grow. 
    Secretary of Energy: Well, I've never seen no plants grow out of no toilet. 
    Secretary of State: Hey, that's good. You sure you ain't the smartest guy in the world? 
    Joe: Okay, look. You wanna solve this problem. I wanna get my pardon. So why don't we just try it, okay, and not worry about what plants crave? 
    Attorney General: Brawndo's got what plants crave. 
    Secretary of Energy: Yeah, it's got electrolytes. 
    Joe: What are electrolytes? Do you even know? 
    Secretary of State: It's what they use to make Brawndo. 
    Joe: Yeah, but why do they use them to make Brawndo? 
    Secretary of Defense: 'Cause Brawndo's got electrolytes.

  • 2
    319 VOTES

    A Dumbing Down

    A Dumbing Down
    Video: YouTube

    Narrator: As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.

  • 3
    244 VOTES

    I'm Not Sure...

    I'm Not Sure...
    Video: YouTube
    Program: Please speak your name as it appears on your current federal identity card. Document number G24L8.
    Joe: I'm not sure if—
    Program: You have entered the name "Not Sure". Is this correct, Not Sure?
    Joe: No, it's not correct.
    Program: Thank you. "Not" is correct. Is "Sure" correct?
    Joe: No it's not. My name is Joe
    Program: You've already confirmed your first name is "Not". Please confirm your last name "Sure".
    Joe: My last name is not "Sure".
    Program: Thank you, "Not Sure".
    Joe: No. What I mean is that my name is Joe.
    Program: Confirmation is complete. Please wait while I tattoo your new identity on your arm.
  • 4
    147 VOTES

    Reading and Writing Are Cool

    Reading and Writing Are Cool
    Video: YouTube

    Joe: There was a time when reading wasn't just for f*gs. And neither was writing. People wrote books and movies. Movies with stories, that made you care about whose a** it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!