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25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns

Updated January 7, 2020 3.6k votes 315 voters 8.6k views25 items

List RulesVote up the most glorious puns Agent 007 has ever delivered.

It’s not just the super cool gadgets or Bond's prowess with beautiful women that make 007 films fun; it’s the James Bond puns that keep movie spectators coming back for more. We can argue over who is the best actor to ever play the British agent, but that’s for another roundup. This one is all about the best James Bond innuendos. 

Perhaps it’s the tuxedo, or the well-shaken martini, that helps to make these typically groan-worthy puns hilarious. No other character in film history could possibly get away with this kind of play on words. It’s interesting to note that the modern-day Bond, Daniel Craig, is just as punny as the original Bond, Sean Connery.

Which Bond puns are so bad they’re good?

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  • 1
    185
    23

    "I think he got the point."

    Thunderball

  • 2
    224
    44

    "She always did enjoy a good squeeze."

    GoldenEye

  • 3
    175
    30

    "Shocking. Positively shocking."

    Goldfinger

  • 4
    144
    45

    "They'll print anything these days."

    Tomorrow Never Dies

  • 5
    136
    41

    "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself."

    Live and Let Die

  • 6
    129
    52

    "I always enjoyed learning a new tongue."

    Tomorrow Never Dies

  • 7
    109
    40

    "He disagreed with something that ate him"

    Live and Let Die

  • 8
    99
    38

    "Oh, he blew a fuse."

    Goldfinger

  • 9
    95
    37

    "All those feathers and he still can't fly."

    The Spy Who Loved Me

  • 10
    110
    52

    "I am now aiming precisely at your groin, so speak or forever hold your piece."

    The Man with the Golden Gun

  • 11
    94
    41

    "When one is in Egypt, one should delve deeply into its treasures."

    The Spy Who Loved Me

  • 12
    81
    35

    "I think they were on their way to a funeral."

    Dr. No

  • 13
    94
    46

    "I see you put your money where your mouth is."

    The World is Not Enough

  • 14
    99
    51

    "Back seat driver."

  • 15
    76
    41

    "I never miss."

    The World is Not Enough

  • 16
    77
    43

    "I discovered he had a crush on me."

    Moonraker

  • 17
    71
    40

    "Well he certainly left with his tails between his legs."

    Diamonds Are Forever

  • 18
    69
    42

    "Just being disarming, darling."

    Live and Let Die

  • 19
    80
    57

    "Well, I got into some deep water."

    Skyfall

  • 20
    59
    42

    "As you said, such good sport."

    Moonraker

  • 21
    51
    35

    "Play it again, Sam."

    Moonraker

  • 22
    58
    50

    "Playing his golden harp."

    Goldfinger

  • 23
    51
    43

    "Had no head for heights."

  • 24
    53
    47

    "He had lots of guts!"

    On Her Majesty's Secret Service

  • 25
    40
    55

    "Hiss off."

    Octopussy