Total Nerd

25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns 

Ann Casano
Updated January 7, 2020 1.7k votes 214 voters 6.5k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up the most glorious puns Agent 007 has ever delivered.

It’s not just the super cool gadgets or Bond's prowess with beautiful women that make 007 films fun; it’s the James Bond puns that keep movie spectators coming back for more. We can argue over who is the best actor to ever play the British agent, but that’s for another roundup. This one is all about the best James Bond innuendos. 

Perhaps it’s the tuxedo, or the well-shaken martini, that helps to make these typically groan-worthy puns hilarious. No other character in film history could possibly get away with this kind of play on words. It’s interesting to note that the modern-day Bond, Daniel Craig, is just as punny as the original Bond, Sean Connery.

Which Bond puns are so bad they’re good?

1
"She always did enj... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"She always did enjoy a good squeeze."

GoldenEye

2
"I think he got the... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"I think he got the point."

Thunderball

3
"Shocking. Positive... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Shocking. Positively shocking."

Goldfinger

4
"They'll print anyt... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"They'll print anything these days."

Tomorrow Never Dies

5
"He always did have... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"He always did have an inflated opinion of himself."

Live and Let Die

6
"I always enjoyed l... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"I always enjoyed learning a new tongue."

Tomorrow Never Dies

7
"He disagreed with ... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"He disagreed with something that ate him"

Live and Let Die

8
"Oh, he blew a fuse... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Oh, he blew a fuse."

Goldfinger

9
"I am now aiming pr... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"I am now aiming precisely at your groin, so speak or forever hold your piece."

The Man with the Golden Gun

10
"When one is in Egy... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"When one is in Egypt, one should delve deeply into its treasures."

The Spy Who Loved Me

11
"Well, I got into s... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Well, I got into some deep water."

Skyfall

12
"I discovered he ha... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"I discovered he had a crush on me."

Moonraker

13
"All those feathers... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"All those feathers and he still can't fly."

The Spy Who Loved Me

14
"I see you put your... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"I see you put your money where your mouth is."

The World is Not Enough

15
"Back seat driver.&... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Back seat driver."
16
"I think they were ... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"I think they were on their way to a funeral."

Dr. No

17
"Just being disarmi... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Just being disarming, darling."

Live and Let Die

18
"I never miss."... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"I never miss."

The World is Not Enough

19
"Well he certainly ... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Well he certainly left with his tails between his legs."

Diamonds Are Forever

20
"Playing his golden... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Playing his golden harp."

Goldfinger

21
"As you said, such ... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"As you said, such good sport."

Moonraker

22
"Play it again, Sam... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Play it again, Sam."

Moonraker

23
"Had no head for he... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Had no head for heights."
24
"He had lots of gut... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"He had lots of guts!"

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

25
"Hiss off." is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list 25 Of James Bond's Most Magnificently Dumb Puns
"Hiss off."

Octopussy