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The Best Jerry Smith Character Quotes From 'Rick and Morty'

March 31, 2020 1.0k votes 113 voters 4.3k views25 items

The best Jerry Smith quotes of all time run the gambit from the depressing to the hilarious. On Rick and Morty, he frequently serves as a foil to Rick. A spineless, unintelligent man married the daughter of the smartest man in the universe, and no matter what Jerry does, Rick will never be able to get over that fact. 

Jerry seems to be perpetually clueless. The best time of his life was when the Galactic Federation took over Earth. It was the only way he could get a job, and that's when he bestowed this gem: "I got my sixth promotion this week, and I still don't know what I do!" He's also not afraid to pull out some zingers, such as when he said, "Take your attitude to the men's section of K-Mart, because you need to cut me some slack... s" at Bird Person's wedding. 

Funny Jerry Smith quotes from every season of Rick and Morty (so far) have been collected on this list. Vote for your favorites that are at least better than "Hungry for Apples?"

  • Photo: Adult Swim

    We're Not Heroes

    Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals.

    Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.

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  • Photo: Adult Swim

    Mr. Crowbar

    Jerry: I’m Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend, who is also a crowbar.

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  • Photo: Adult Swim

    East Coast Lighthouse

    Jerry: Well, all is forgiven, because right now, I’ve got an erection the size of an East Coast lighthouse, and I’m coming home to share it with my beautiful wife.

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  • Photo: Adult Swim

    Thank Me

    Jerry: God’s turning people into insect monsters, Beth. I’m the one beating them to death. Thank me.

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