Entertainment

The Funniest 'Jingle All the Way' Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
60 votes 14 voters 15 items

The best Jingle All the Way quotes will remind you what it's like trying to get your kid a brand new toy only for every store in town to be sold out of it. This is the plot of the holiday classic Jingle All the Way, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. Arnold plays Howard Langston, a father who constantly disappoints his son, so he wants this to be his big chance to win back his respect. Hilarious hijinks and one-liners ensue, making this one Christmas film that's still a real treat to watch during the holiday season. Remember why you fell in love with this movie by reviewing the best Jingle All the Way quotes.

Arnold's delivery of many of the lines led to plenty of classic moments. We're sure you remember the time Arnold yelled, "Put that cookie down. NOW!" There's also the great line, "How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: 'Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?'" Jingle All the Way is a rare Christmas film that's not afraid to get silly, so while it has a good message at the end, you can have plenty of fun with it, too. 

Get ready to pop this movie back in the VCR (or find it on a streaming service) by reviewing the best Jingle All the Way movie quotes.

Put That Cookie Down is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest 'Jingle All the Way' Quotes
Photo:  20th Century Fox
1
Put That Cookie Down

Howard: Put that cookie down. NOW!

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Subliminal Messages is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest 'Jingle All the Way' Quotes
Photo:  20th Century Fox
2
Subliminal Messages

Myron: They sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! And I know what I'm talking about because I went to junior college for a semester and I studied psychology so I'm right in there, I know what's going on. And then they sit there and they make your children feel like garbage and you, the father, who's working twenty four, seven delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office, but me! And then when you get the toy, it breaks and you can't fix it because it's little cheap plastic!

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Stupid Letters is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest 'Jingle All the Way' Quotes
Photo:  20th Century Fox
3
Stupid Letters

Myron: How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off!

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It's Turbo Time is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest 'Jingle All the Way' Quotes
Photo:  20th Century Fox
4
It's Turbo Time

Jamie: I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move and the boomerang shooter and his rock'n roller jet pack and the realistic voice activator that says five different phrases including, "It's Turbo time!" Accessories sold separately; batteries not included.

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