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The Best 'Joe Dirt' Quotes

Updated February 26, 2020 1.6k votes 802 voters 155.0k views12 items

List of the best Joe Dirt quotes, including images and videos of dialogue from each scene when available. Released in 2001, Joe Dirt starred David Spade, along with co-stars Brittany Daniels, Kid Rock, and Dennis Miller. Although it wasn't extremely popular when it first came out, Joe Dirt became a cult classic once it was released on DVD. During a quest to find his real parents, Joe encounters many classic characters, including the firework selling Indian Kicking Wing, a carny named Jill who might be his sister, and a mysterious man named Buffalo Bill who traps Joe in a well while asking him to rub lotion on his skin (sound familiar?) With countless one-liners and funny moments, Joe Dirt truly is one of the most underrated comedy movies of all time. Quotes below include the poo scene, the fireworks monologue, and much more.

Click here to watch the full movie.

  • 5

    You Like To See Homos Naked?

    You Like To See Homos Naked? is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best 'Joe Dirt' Quotes
    Video: YouTube

    Cajun Man: [Weird Cajun accent] Home is where you make it.
    Joe Dirt: What?
    Cajun Man: Home is where you make it.
    Joe Dirt: You like to see homos naked?
    Cajun Man: No, no, no. Home. It's where you make it.
    Joe Dirt: Yeah, you like to see homos naked. That's cool.
    Cajun Man: No! Home is where you make it!
    Joe Dirt: Oh.
    Cajun Man: Everybody knows that. God damn, boy.
    Joe Dirt: Guy likes to see homos naked, that doesn't help me.

     

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  • 6

    Say It Don't Spray it

    Say It Don't Spray it is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best 'Joe Dirt' Quotes
    Video: YouTube

    Buffalo Bob: It puts the lotion on its skin. Now!
    Joe Dirt: Well say it, don't spray it brother, Dang!

     

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  • 7

    Show Me Them Boobies!

    Show Me Them Boobies! is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best 'Joe Dirt' Quotes
    Video: YouTube
    Joe Dirt: [strapped to atom bomb] I'm not messin' around! I hit it, and it goes bang. Alright? Now while I'm up here waiting you [points to attractive girl] show me them boobies! 
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  • 8

    Sex With His Sister

    Sex With His Sister is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best 'Joe Dirt' Quotes
    Video: YouTube
    Joe Dirt: If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
    Jill: Sure would. Do you want to go back to my place?
    Joe Dirt: Sure do.
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