Comedy

The Best Joe Swanson Quotes From 'Family Guy'  

Movie and TV Quotes
185 votes 27 voters 1.4k views 27 items

Joe Swanson is one of the funniest characters on Family Guy. Voice by Patrick Warburton, Joe lives with his wife Bonnie and is one of Peters best drinking buddies. His interactions with Peter, Quagmire, and Cleveland have given us some amazing quotes on the show.

There are several funny lines from Joe like "Sex is overrated" to quotes that indicate just how compassionate he can be like "Love is a powerful compass," let's take a look at the greatest Joe Swanson quotes in Family Guy history, ranked by your votes. 

Whatever your favorite Joe Swanson quotes are, vote them up on the list below so they will climb closer to the top.

I Brought Construction Paper is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Joe Swanson Quotes From 'Family Guy'
Photo: 20th Television
1
I Brought Construction Paper

Joe: I brought construction paper and markers in case you guys wanted to draw breasts.

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Boys Upstairs is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Joe Swanson Quotes From 'Family Guy'
Photo: 20th Television
2
Boys Upstairs

Joe: Public opinion has shifted, and the boys upstairs said they can no longer ignore it.

Peter: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?

 

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The Clam is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Joe Swanson Quotes From 'Family Guy'
Photo: 20th Television
3
The Clam

Peter:  To the Clam!

Quagmire: To the Clam!

Joe: To the Clam! And to mind-damaging STDs!

Quagmire: I wake up with blood on my penis-pillow!

Peter: I'm going to die an old man in a chair, staring out to sea and going slowly insane!

 

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You Did is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Joe Swanson Quotes From 'Family Guy'
Photo: 20th Television
4
You Did

Joe: I didn't feel anything, but you did!

 

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