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The Best Leon Black Quotes from Curb Your Enthusiasm

Updated August 8, 2019 676 votes 269 voters 123.9k views13 items

If there's one character, other than Larry David, who has the most memorable quotes on 'Curb Your Enthusiasm, it's got to be Leon Black. Larry's foul-mouthed, tell-it-like-it-is buddy definitely makes his presence known. A lot. Check out some of the best Leon Black quotes from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm,' and prepare to laugh. Don't see your favorite? Add it to the list!! And for more 'Curb' goodness, check out this list of quotes from the series.

Leon Black first appeared on HBO's 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' during season 6, and he's still around today. Black is played by actor and stand up comedian J.B. Smoove, aka Jerry Brooks.

What are the best Leon Black quotes? This list will answer that hysterical question. 
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  • 1

    F**k Larry Up

    Video: YouTube

    Leon: "...I f**k Larry up, and keep on rolling."
    Larry: "What?"
    Leon: "Somebody gotta get f**ked up Larry, right?"
    Larry: "You don't need to... What are you saying, f**k me up?"
    Leon: "You tackle me, I ain't gonna look like a f**kin' bitch and s**t and let you f**k me up."
    Larry: "No! I tackle you and you run away. You run away..."
    Leon: "The more f**ked up you are, more of a hero your gonna look like, man. I'ma break your f**king teeth, your glasses or something."

    Classic 'Curb' comedy here, as the guys discuss holding a fake mugging so Larry will look better in the eyes of Cheryl's therapist. Leon, however, doesn't seem to completely understand the 'fake' concept...
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  • 2

    Get in that A**

    Video: YouTube

    Leon: "When a man calls you a f**king f*ggot, you get in that ass Larry, you know what i mean? You get in that ass Larry!"
    Larry: "What are you talking about?"
    Leon: "You let a man slide today, you must immediately get inside somebody's ass when that happens to you. You pull the asshole open, step into the asshole, close the door behind you. Then you take a spray can right, spray Larry was here, wash me all that s**t, f**k his whole asshole up. Get a snickers bar, paper, throw that on the floor, f**k his whole asshole up. Then you open up that asshole one more time, step out his ass, then leave that motherf**ker wide open so he know you've been there."

    Does this particular quote really need an explanation? Really? Never has anyone in the history of television been quite so...detailed...about how to get in someone's ass. Classic Leon.
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  • 3

    Don't Pause the Toast

    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY

    Leon: "You can't pause toast, Larry. It loses its essence!"

    Do not pause Leon's toast. Ever.
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  • 4

    Topsy Turvy

    Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY

    Larry: "You'll go in, he'll be up there, you're down here. Right? He's on top, he's asking you the questions. Then all of a sudden the interview starts, he asks you some questions, you answer some questions...then, you start asking him the questions, and you flip it. Now he's trying to impress you."
    Leon: "Turn that s**t around on him."
    Larry: "Turn it around on him."
    Leon: "Topsy-turvy that m**********r."

    A well-meaning Larry is giving Leon some sage advice to get him ready for a big job interview. Leon, of course, Leon-izes Larry's words of wisdom, and preps to topsy-turvy the whole thing. Larry might've gone a wee bit too far with his advice - but no matter. Leon will ace the interview, right?
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