Entertainment

The Best Insults from The Lord of the Rings

List Rules
Vote up the sassiest lines and best burns from the entire The Lord of the Rings franchise.

When Peter Jackson adapted J.R.R. Tolkein's classic novels into The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit franchises, he took the wit and wisdom of the author and created some fantastic dialogue. Among that dialogue are some incredibly clever insults and funny one-liners bantered about by some great characters including Gandalf, Samwise, and others. 

You may not realize just how many times one character insulted another in The Lord of the Rings films, but it happened often. Granted, there are a few from the books that didn't make it to the movies, but there's a few of those included in here anyway, seeing as they are pure gold. Whether you are a fan of the films or the books, you will likely snicker with glee as you read some of these amazing insults from The Lord of the Rings.

See some of your favorite quotes? Vote up the ones you think are best, and vote down any you don't find funny or clever.

Photo:
  • I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.
    1

    I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.

  • Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!
    2

    Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!

  • I don't know half of you half as well as I should like... and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
    3

    I don't know half of you half as well as I should like... and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

  • Anyways, you need people of intelligence on this sort of... mission... quest ... thing. Well, that rules you out, Pip.
    4

    Anyways, you need people of intelligence on this sort of... mission... quest ... thing. Well, that rules you out, Pip.

  • Knock your head against these doors, Perigrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words.
    5

    Knock your head against these doors, Perigrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words.

  • Forty-two?! That's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling.
    6

    Forty-two?! That's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling.

  • Stupid, fat hobbit.
    7

    Stupid, fat hobbit.

  • You look terrible.
    8

    You look terrible.

  • Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew...
    9

    Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew...

  • Nobody tosses a dwarf!
    10

    Nobody tosses a dwarf!

  • Dotard! What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among the dogs?
    11

    Dotard! What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among the dogs?

  • What office of less honour would you accept? To carry a sack of meal up into the mountains—if any man would trust you with it?
    12

    What office of less honour would you accept? To carry a sack of meal up into the mountains—if any man would trust you with it?

  • Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
    13

    Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.

  • Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
    14

    Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!

  • I will be dead before I see the Ring, in the hands of an Elf!
    15

    I will be dead before I see the Ring, in the hands of an Elf!

  • Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion!
    16

    Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion!

  • Hey, Stinker! Don't go getting too far ahead.
    17

    Hey, Stinker! Don't go getting too far ahead.

  • Let him rot!
    18

    Let him rot!

  • You fool. No man can kill me. Die now.
    19

    You fool. No man can kill me. Die now.

  • Get thee gone from my gate, though jail-crow of Mandos!
    20

    Get thee gone from my gate, though jail-crow of Mandos!