This list of the best male monologues includes speeches from every genre. If you’re auditioning for a comedy, look no further than Alan’s (Zach Galifianakis) awkward rooftop Vegas toast in The Hangover. Need something super dramatic that will leave them in tears? Terence Mann’s (James Earl Jones) “people will come” baseball monologue from Field of Dreams will definitely do the trick. Here are 20 of the best male movie monologues in cinema history.
Some of these famous male monologues will be familiar to you. Who hasn’t memorized at least parts of that Captain Koons (Christopher Walken) pocket watch monologue from Pulp Fiction? However, there are a few excellent male speeches listed that you may not be as familiar with but also pack a memorable punch. For example, George Jung’s (Johnny Depp) sentimental jailhouse letter to his father in Blow, is filled with raw emotion and reflective power.
Check out all of these incredible male movie monologues. Then, be sure to vote up your favorites. Which male speeches do you think are the best for auditions or acting classes?
Let me have your attention for a moment! So you’re talking about what? You’re talking about…b*tching about that sale you shot, some son of a b*tch that doesn’t want to buy, somebody that doesn’t want what you’re selling, some broad you’re trying to screw and so forth. Let’s talk about something important. Are they all here?
Well, I’m going anyway. Let’s talk about something important! Put that coffee down! Coffee’s for closers only. Do you think I’m f*cking with you? I am not f*cking with you. I’m here from downtown. I’m here from Mitch and Murray. And I’m here on a mission of mercy. Your name’s Levene?
You call yourself a salesman, you son of a b*tch?
You certainly don’t pal. Cause the good news is — you’re fired. The bad news is you’ve got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonight’s sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. Cause we’re adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize’s a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. You get the picture? You’re laughing now? You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them! You can’t close the leads you’re given, you can’t close sh*t, you ARE sh*t, hit the bricks pal and beat it cause you are going out!!!
The leads are weak. F*cking leads are weak? You’re weak. I’ve been in this business fifteen years.
F*CK YOU, that’s my name!! You know why, Mister? ‘Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That’s my name! And your name is ‘you’re wanting.’ And you can’t play in a man’s game. You can’t close them. And you go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you f*cking f*ggots?
A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention — do I have your attention? Interest — are you interested? I know you are because it’s f*ck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision — have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin’ in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn’t walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What’s the problem pal? You. Moss.
Actors: Al Pacino, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Spacey, Ed Harris, Jack Lemmon, + more
Directed by: James Foley
So if I asked you about art you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that.
If I asked you about women you’d probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy.
You’re a tough kid. I ask you about war, and you’d probably, uh, throw Shakespeare at me, right? ‘Once more into the breach, dear friends.’ But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap and watched him gasp his last breath, looking to you for help.
And if I asked you about love you probably quote me a sonnet. But you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you…who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel and to have that love for her to be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. You wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term visiting hours don’t apply to you.
You don’t know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you; I don’t see an intelligent, confident man; I see a cocky, scared sh*tless kid.
But you’re a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and you ripped my f*ckin’ life apart. You’re an orphan right? Do you think I’d know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you?
Personally, I don’t give a sh*t about all that, because you know what? I can’t learn anything from you I can’t read in some f*ckin’ book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t wanna do that, do you, sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.
Actors: Ben Affleck, Robin Williams, Matt Damon, Minnie Driver, Casey Affleck, + more
Directed by: Gus Van Sant
My desert island all-time top five most memorable breakups, in chronological order are as follows: Alison Ashmore, Penny Hardwick, Jackie Alden, Charlie Nicholson, and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name on that list, Laura? Maybe you'd sneak into the top ten. But there's just no room for you in the top five. Sorry! Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliation and heartbreak you're just not capable of delivering. If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have got to me earlier!
Which brings us to number one on the top five all-time breakup list: Alison Ashmore. One moment they weren't there, not in any form that interested us, anyway. And then the next, you couldn't miss them. They were everywhere. And they'd grown breasts. And we wanted - actually we didn't even know what we wanted. But it was something interesting, disturbing even. My relationship with Alison Ashmore lasted for six hours: the two hours after school before the 'The Rockford Files' for three days in a row. But on the fourth afternoon, Kevin Bannister....It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one.
Number two on the top five all-time breakup list was Penny Hardwick. Penny was great lookin', and her top five recording artists were Carly Simon, Carole King, James Taylor, Cat Stevens, and Elton John...She was nice. Nice manners, nice grades, nice looking. She was so nice, in fact, that she wouldn't let me put my hand underneath or even on top of her bra. Attack and defense. Invasion and repulsion. It was as if breasts were little pieces of property that had been unlawfully annexed by the opposite sex. They were rightfully ours and we wanted them back.
Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead. I wasn't interested in Penny's nice qualities, just breasts. And therefore, she was no good to me...I started dating a girl who everyone said would give it up and who didn't. And Penny went with this a*shole named Chris Thompson who told me that he had sex with her after something like three dates.
Number three in the top five all-time breakup list? Charlie Nicholson. Sophomore year of college. As soon as I saw her, I realized she was the kind of girl I'd wanted to meet ever since I was old enough to want to meet girls. I mean, she was different. She was dramatic and she was exotic. And she talked a lot and when she talked she said remarkably interesting things about music, books, film and politics. And she talked a lot. And she liked me. She liked me. She liked me. At least I think she did...We went out for two years and I never got comfortable.
Why would a girl, no, a woman, like Charlie go out with me? I felt like a fraud. I felt like one of those people who suddenly shave their heads and said they'd always been punks. I was sure I'd be discovered at any second. And I worried about my abilities as a lover. And I was intimidated by other men in her design department and became convinced she was gonna leave me for one of them. Then she left me for one of them. The dreaded Marco. And I lost it. Kinda lost it all. Faith, dignity, about fifteen pounds.
When I came to a few months later, I found to my surprise I had flunked out of school. Started working at a record shop. Some people never got over 'Nam or the night their band opened for Nirvana. I guess I never really got over Charlie. But the thing I learned from the whole Charlie debacle - you gotta punch your weight. You see, Charlie, she's out of my class. She's too pretty. Too smart. Too witty. Too much. I mean, what am I? I'm a middleweight. Hey, I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I'm certainly not the dumbest. I mean, I've read books like 'Unbearable Lightness of Being' and 'Love in the Time of Cholera.' And I think I've understood them. They're about girls, right? Just kidding... Anyway, me and Charlie, we didn't match. Marco and Charlie matched.
But me and Sarah, number four on the all-time list, we matched. She'd just been dumped by some a*shole named Michael...I'd just been run over by Charlie...It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex and while we were at it, we get to share a bed with somebody at the same time. We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being left alone for the rest of their lives at 26. We were of that disposition. So when she told me -- ("I met someone else")...it was contrary to the whole spirit of our arrangement. So how come I got dumped?...
For a couple of years, I was DJ at a club. I was good at it, I think. And while I was doing it, it was the happiest I've ever been. And that's where I met Laura. She was already a lawyer but she worked for legal aid, hence the leather jacket and clubbing. Oh, I liked her right away...To be honest, I hadn't met anyone as promising as Laura since I started deejaying, and meeting promising women is kind of what the deejaying thing is supposed to be about. And anyway, we, we moved on from there. She lost her lease on her apartment in Lakeview, and she moved in with me. And it stayed that way for years. She didn't make me miserable, or anxious, or ill-at-ease. And you know, it sounds boring, but it wasn't. It wasn't spectacular, either. It was just - good. But really good.
So, how come I'm suddenly an a*shole?...One: That I slept with someone else...while she, Laura, was pregnant...Two: That my affair directly contributed... Three: That after the abortion, I borrowed a large sum of money from her... And have not, as of yet, repaid any of it....Four: That shortly before she left me, I told her that I was kind of unhappy in the relationship and maybe sort of lookin' around for someone else...Did I do and say those things?...Yes, I did. I am a f*ckin' asshole....That pretty much brings us up to date....What's wrong with me? Seriously. What happened? Why am I doomed to be left? Doomed to be rejected? I need answers...
Number five - Jackie Alden. Jackie Alden's breakup had no effect on my life whatsoever. It was a casual thing and I was glad when it ended. I just slotted her in to bump Laura out of position. But now, congratulations, Laura. You made it to the top five. Number five with a bullet. Welcome.
Actors: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Bruce Springsteen, Jack Black, John Cusack, Tim Robbins, + more
Directed by: Stephen Frears
You may sit down, Mr. O'Malley. You think you can run this school? If you could, then I wouldn't be here, would I? No one talks in my meetings. NO ONE! You take out your pencils and write. I want the names of every hoodlum, drug dealer, and miscreant who's done nothing but take this place apart on my desk by noon today. Reverend Slappy...you are now the chief custodian, Reverend Slappy. You will scour this building clean. Graffiti goes up is off the next day. Is that clear?
Detention students can help you. Let them scrub this place for awhile, and tear down those cages in the cafeteria. You treat them like animals, that's exactly how they'll behave! This is my new Dean of Security, Mr. William Wright. He will be my Avenging Angel, as you teachers reclaim the halls. This is an institution of learning, ladies and gentlemen. If you can't control it, how can you teach?! Discipline is not the enemy of enthusiasm! Mr. Zorella...Mr. Zorella, you are now my new Head Football Coach. Mr. Darnell. Stand up, Mr. Darnell. Mr. Darnell will be your assistant. You know why you're being demoted, Mr. Darnell? Because I'm sick and tired of our football team getting pushed all over the field. Thank you. Sit down. I want precision. I want a weight program. And if you don't like it, Mr. Darnell, you can quit.
Same goes for the rest of ya. You tried it your way for years. And your students can't even get past the Minimum Basic Skills Test. That means they can hardly read!! They've given me less than one year, one school year to turn this place around, to get those test scores up, so the state will not take us over to perform the tasks which you have failed to do! To educate our children! Forget about the way it used to be. This is not a d*mn democracy. We are in a state of emergency and my word is law. There's only one boss in this place, and that's me - the "HNIC." [Head N*gger in Charge] Are there any questions?
Actors: Morgan Freeman, Tony Todd, Regina Taylor, Robert Guillaume, Ethan Phillips, + more
Directed by: John G. Avildsen